Virtue [H.S]

FOUR

♔

I wake with a start, shooting up in the bed, chest heaving with sharp breaths. The sheets are sticky with sweat, causing them cling to my skin, making me feel uncomfortably suffocated. My fingers are shaking as I rip the covers off of myself, instantly relieved at the frigid air of my bedroom. 

I drag myself out of my bed, overcome with feelings of nausea. In the darkness of the room, I blindly rush to the connected bathroom, shutting the door behind me and flicking on the lights. I am shivering as I crouch, nude, over the porcelain toilet.

Retches overcome my body, muscles tight and taunt as I vomit into the bowl, throat burning. Once my stomach is empty and the gagging stops, I curl up into a ball on the freezing tiles, allowing sobs to overcome my body, using my knees to muffle the sound as the shock of the reoccurring nightmare continues to assault me.

After a few moments, I regain control over myself. I pull myself upright, flushing the toilet and standing shakily to my feet. I walk over to the basin, allowing the water to run as I rinse my mouth with mouthwash, causing the sour taste to disappear. 

I look at my reflection in the mirror then, noticing the strands of hair that have escaped from my messy bun plastered to my skin with sweat, and my freckles dark against the ghostly pale skin of my face. The bags under my eyes are purple, showing my clear exhaustion after a long weekend of work and my inability to sleep soundly. 

Turning away from myself, I grab an oversized, black hoodie from the hamper, pulling it over my shivering frame, before escaping the frigid bathroom. I make my way over to the curtains shrouding the window, pulling them open and allowing hazy sunlight to enter the room.

"You know, you should really see someone about those nightmares." A rough voice calls from my bed, and I look at the man tangled in my duvet, wincing at the sudden light. "They sound nasty, and they really make it impossible to get a good nights sleep."

"Yeah, well, how do you think I feel?" I snap, pulling my phone off charge and using it to check the time. 8am. 

I groan in annoyance, for spending a full weekend doing overnight shifts at Virtue means that weekdays are reserved for hibernating. Both Gwen and I drag ourselves into our apartment at 3am on Monday mornings, sore and sleepy after three full nights of performing, and often don't find ourselves falling asleep until the sun begins to rise, softly breaking through the thick haze of city smog.

The little sleep I have had is clear in the throbbing of my skull and the pain in my muscles. 

"So grumpy in the mornings." The man begins to tease, his arms folded behind his head and sheets low on his hips.

"I'm grumpy always, Alex." I respond, pulling a pair of clean underwear up my bare legs, before stepping into my slippers.

"Well, that is the understatement of the year."

Suddenly, my bedroom door swings open and Gwen steps into the room. She is bare faced, with her cropped, blonde hair hidden entirely under a black beanie. She blinks sleepily, the shadows under her eyes mirroring my own as she hands me a steaming mug of coffee.

"I heard you vomiting," She says, voice concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I reply, grabbing the drink from her grasp. "Thank you."

I sip gratefully on the bitter liquid as my roommate squeezes my arm affectionately, before shifting her gaze to Alex's lazy frame, grey eyes turning icy.