I wanted to say your name over and over and over again so that my mouth wore it out and I could get on with my life Aspen. I wanted to write your name on a sheet of paper until my wrist hurt. I wanted to feel the spelling, the curve of each letter as my pen hit the paper. I think I would have adored you to exhaustion if you had let me.
I looked up at the ceiling of my bedroom. I hadn't moved all morning from out of my bed. I felt this feeling a long time ago. I hated it. It made me feel weak. But that was the problem with me, I was weak and maybe when I learned to accept that part of me I wouldn't let myself get into these situations.
I lost count of the days. After Meredith's countless attempts are painting Aspen as a decent human being my father allowed him to come back into the house. He had asked my permission first of course. Reluctantly, I had said yes. I didn't want to but for some reason, Aspen held a soft spot in my heart.
It's been a neverending nightmare of me trying to move on with my thoughts. Of course, I couldn't. I was starting to think I enjoyed the feeling of the bottom. It was cold but firm. It was something that could hold me steady. The bottom supported me the way I never could have supported myself. I rather feel this and never feel happy ever again than feel my emotions play me like a victim.
I barely left my room since he came back, I think it was mutual on his part as well. It was for the best.
The thought of his soft tousles falling on his face, touching my forehead as he gave me sweet summer kisses. The way his arms use to grab hold of my thighs and spread me open, causing the wind to blow on my clit. I missed those moments. I reminisced on the smell of deep vanilla. A smell I'd never be able to witness again because it left when he did. Instead, I had to breathe air and it seemed to be a shitty replacement. How did I live my life on it alone? Vanilla was better life support.
My fingers strayed to my panty, feeling the wetness pool as I thought of the one person I didn't want to. Maybe I could have been with him without him actually being there. I twirled my finger between the lips of my vagina as I thought of Aspen's cock penetrating me over and over again. The passion we experienced which I knew he had at the moment had felt too.
I probed a finger inside, going back and forth, trying to will a response from my body. But in return, nothing. Nothing compared to the real thing. I pulled my finger out and wiped it on my bedspread, feeling disgusted with myself.
"Wynter! Come please!" I heard the echo of dad's voice trail up the stairs and into my room.
"Coming!" I groaned, using all the strength I had to lift myself out of bed.
I had expected better of Aspen which disappointed me. I had overheard Meredith telling my dad he was planning to go back to Nevada by the end of next week. From what I gathered he had no plans of coming back. Like a used mat, he walked over me over and over again and didn't even have the decency to clean me off. He never reached out to see if I was okay. To see how my cut was healing up.
I couldn't have expected him to. I shouldn't allow people to let me down with my own expectations. I got myself into this mess the only person to get me back out had to be myself.
I took one step at a time down the stairs till I reached the kitchen. My dad was by the stove and Meredith was perched on a seat by the island. The same island which Aspen had me bent over a couple of weeks ago.
Seating next to her, I sighed plopping my hands on top of the counter.
"Excited for the first day back to the hospital?" Dad asked, flipping over a pancake.
"Wait today is Monday already?" I asked semi shocked I had lost track of that much time.
"Stop messing around WInter. I'm leaving in thirty, I expect you to be ready too."
YOU ARE READING
Cold Hearted Bastard
RomanceHis fingers strayed to my arm, moving slowly up as he caressed me. Leaving my skin burning hot in their path. My breathing hitched as I gazed into his eyes, more black than green this time, swirling with lust. His face was so close to mine, I felt h...