What He Doesn't Know

Chapter 6

Laila

I wasn't going to answer the door for Carl but he looks .. actually upset. Like he's really going through it. It surprises me because when he was at the restaurant with his wife, he was too busy giving me a hard time about how he's not leaving her.

I let him come in. I went in my room to put on a pair of leggings. I grabbed two bottle of waters and my favorite snack so we could talk.

"Talk about what Carl." I said stuffing Doritos along with ice cream in my mouth. I been so hungry lately. I don't know why though.

"Us. I didn't mean that in text messages. I love you." Carl said almost crying. I never witnessed him crying before. This is serious.

"It's just getting harder that ..my feelings for you are developing and seeing you with Faith is not easy. Im married also and I love my husband too but .. he's not you." I said honestly. I love Justin but something is missing with us. He's perfect but not for me. I want Carl.

"I will leave Faith but you have too leave Justin too."

"What about your kids?"

"I'll figure something out .."

I start smiling and jumped on his lap. I start kissing all over his face.

"This all I ever wanted. Just me and you. I love you so much baby."

"I love you too but uh Laila .. are you pregnant?" I put on a couple pounds but Im not pregnant. Me with kids would be hell. That's just not my thing.

"No." I start laughing.

"Why would you asked me such a thing?"

"Because your getting fat in the face." Carl said getting me off him.

"Im just gaining weight Carl. Calm down"

"I have three kids. I know when someone is pregnant!!" He starts yelling and acting like s bitch. I was just sitting on the couch continuing to eat my ice cream with Doritos.

"Nigga. Im not fucking pregnant."

"Take a test and prove it then."

"I don't just carry pregnancy text around. I would have to buy one in the morning." I said rolling my eyes.

"Whatever Im leaving." I got up and blocked the door.

"We just made up. Your not leaving me right now."

He takes a deep breath and sits back down on the couch.

"Stop running away from our problems. Im not pregnant .. If I am it's not like Im going to keep it." I started laughing. Kids are just not for me. Justin been dying to have a baby by me but I just don't want to do it. At first he thought I couldn't until he made me make an appointment but my eggs and everything else were perfect. Im fertile .. I just don't want to used my eggs. I don't have a fertile bone in my body.

"You don't think that baby could be your husband's?" He asked me with a funny look.

"Uh .. Im not sure." I got up and start pacing. I didn't even think about that .. what happen if I am pregnant? Pregnant with my husbands baby .. I don't know now ..

"Well ... hopefully you get rid of it either way .." He gets up from the couch.

"We will talk tomorrow." He says kissing on my cheek before he leaves. I never thought about me being pregnant with Justin's baby at all. I don't want kids but I can't kill our baby. I can't even be a wife to him but at least I could do is give him a baby .. I don't know .. I am very confused.

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I got up very early to get me five different pregnancy test. I wanted to take them before Justin wakes up for work. I went into the bathroom and took all five. I just sat on toilet seat just thinking .. what if I am pregnant? I don't know who the father will actually be? It could be Carl's but it could be Justin's. We have sex but I have sex with Carl more. Im such a hoe.

It was time for me to check all the test and I can't believe what all of them said.

Im pregnant ....

I just looked at myself in the mirror disgusted. My ways are finally catching up to me now.

"Yo baby girl. Are you done?"

"No. Im not." I tried my best to throw all the boxes and pregnancy test out the window but Justin nosey ass came in anyway.

"What are you throwing away?" He asked confused

"Garbage." Im tiny compared to him so he pushed me to the side and saw all the evidence.

"Baby .. your pregnant?!" He starts smiling. I try to force a smile but I just wanted to die.

He picks me up and kisses all over my face.

"I guess I am huh?" I said.

"Yes. I am so excited babe. I always wanted you to be the mother of my kids. I love you Laila." He kisses me. It wasn't like a normal kiss. It was so passionate and nice. It made me wet. It made me feel safe. It's been a while since I had that feeling.

"I love you too, Justin." I kissed him back. The way he was looking at me was amazing.

"Im not going to be working as much since your pregnant. I don't want to miss anything." He said while rubbing my tummy.

"I still need to make an appointment. Im not sure if Im even pregnant yet."

"We'll make the appointment." He said while squeezing my behind. I actually blushed around him.

"Okay." I kissed him and smiled.

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My doctor confirmed my appointment and I am 12 weeks pregnant. I am almost at the end of my first trimester. I already gained five pounds but all that didn't matter when I heard the baby's heart beat. It was actually amazing and made my heart flutter. Justin was so happy seeing everything. He can't stop kissing me and rubbing our child .. Well I hope it's our child. It will break his heart if he found out what I been doing behind his back with my fucking boss. He's been blowing my phone all day. We was suppose to meet up but I haven't got the chance to tell that I can't. Justin is taking me out to dinner. Justin never was like this before .. He was always about work! Now since I'm pregnant .. He doesn't want to leave my sight. It's a great feeling and I want to take advantage of it.

While Justin was in the living room taking a nap. I went to the bedroom to call CARL.

"I been calling you all fucking day! Why haven't you been answering me?!" Carl said screaming in the phone.

"Don't talk to me like that and I was at my appointment with Justin." I said calmly. Im not letting him get on my nerves. Not today.

"So your pregnant?" He asked pissed.

"Im 12 weeks pregnant so yes I am."

"I CAN'T have a baby by you, Laila. You can't have it. Im sorry." I just started laughing. He always think everything is about him. That's one of the things that irks me snout him.

"First of all, this is my decision. If I want this baby, I'm going to keep my child because I want too not because you don't want to upset your stupid ass wife. Second of all, this baby might not even be yours. It could be my husband's .. And I was thinking Carl, if this baby is your's, you wouldn't have to claim my child. Justin wouldn't have to know that this baby is not his. But after today and hearing my baby's heart beat .. I want this child and I am looking forward to it. My mind set is different now and if you want to stop this. Fine. Because I need to do what's best for me and my child."

Carl didn't say anything. Instead of being a man to say something. He just hung up. It hurts me because I do love Carl but I knew deep down when I found out I was pregnant today, I was going to lose him because he's selfish.