35. Again and Again

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*Warning: There are a lot of flashbacks in this chapter and it is meant to feel abrupt and dispruptive.*        

 CODA POV

          The road is empty as my truck glides over the asphalt. The moon hovers over the horizon of the sky and I keep my eyes glued on it, refusing to glance at the empty passenger seat on my right.

            (Flashback)

            The car dips with the paved road, and Hazel goes pale, swallowing hard.

            One minute, the car is basking in the sunlight and the next, all the light is cut off as we speed down the tunnel.

            The lights were endless beams of stars on the wall, and I can tell Hazel is alarmed as I coast the tunnel at 80 mph.

            Her grip tightens on her seatbelt and she closes her eyes.

            Glancing at her, her posture tense, I act without thinking and place my hand over hers.

            Her eyes snap open to face me and I can see the fear in her eyes.

             “Are you okay?” I ask, my eyes trailing over the paleness of her skin before returning my gaze to the road.

            She is silent for a long heart beat before whispering “I don’t really like closed in places.”

            I nod quietly, the warmth of my hand warming her cold ones.

            She flips her hand so she can entwine our fingers and when my gaze flickers to hers, unable to contain my surprise, she keeps her eyes closed.

            She exhales lowly and I star at the sun at the end of the tunnel.

            “Hold on,” I tell her, squeezing her hand in mine. “We’re almost at the end.”

            (end of flashback)

            I never had a problem with the idea of darkness and tight spaces but here in this truck, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so suffocated.

            The darkness is all encompassing and the moon in front of me seems miles away. My right hand twitches and I clench the wheel tighter.

            It felt uncomfortable driving with my right hand on the wheel and my left resting by my side. It seemed like such a minor detail but the fact that I had grown so accustomed to draping my right hand over the car barrier to reach hers—

            I shake my head.

            Stop thinking.

            There is tightness in my chest that I can’t place and no matter how hard I swallow or how strenuously I stare in front of me, I can’t get rid of it.

            (Flashback)

            I lean against the car lazily-obviously pleased with my morning while Hazel stands beside me, sullen

            I contain my laugh, leaning back on my hands. “What a beautiful morning.”

            The thick, stormy clouds loom above us, shrouding the evergreen trees.

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