Loving the Fighter

124

Callum's POV

Carter was making everything so much harder than it had to be. It almost made me wish that Jax would front just to be the voice of reason and considering how stubborn Jax is, that's saying something. At least Jax knows when he's beat and gives up after that point, Carter fought until the very last second.

"How did this happen," the nurse asked as she cleaned Carter's hand, her eyes glancing up at the new bruise on his temple. I swear they are going to get a concussion if they don't stop it.

"I punched myself," Carter mumbled out, his glare still very much present.

I wanted to scoff at that. When Jax had told us that he used to hit himself to get out of flashbacks, I thought he was lying especially after we found out where the bruises actually came from.

"And your knuckles?"

"The floor," he huffed out. The nurse looked like she didn't believe him but to be fair, if I hadn't seen it and Jax told me the same thing I'm not sure I would have believed him either.

"Does anything seem broken," Liam asked as he played with his bottom lip.

"Not yet. I'll have a better look when the blood is all gone. Let me know if this hurts."

I had seen my fair share of breakdowns since coming to this camp. Liam's, Jax's, Ryder's, even Tyler and Jason had quite a few, but Carter's is so much different than all of theirs.

He doesn't just sit there and take it or panic outwardly, he didn't pace, he didn't cry, he got angry at it. He physically fought it.

Watching Carter hit a concrete floor was probably one of the worse things I've had to watch in a while, right behind watching Jax throw up.

I always knew Jax was messed up. I knew that ever since the first time I saw him in the front office. He had checked me out for a whole five seconds before something flashed in his eyes, making him flinch back before scolding himself.

But Carter always seemed untouchable. I didn't think anything really got to him. I mean, I knew he didn't lie being touched when he first woke up but other than that, we didn't have any real signs that he had issues. I didn't even know altars could have issues.

"Nothing is broken and he doesn't seem to have a concussion so he is good to go," the nurse said as he pulled off her gloved before throwing them away.

"I told you I was fine," Carter huffed as he got off the bed and headed to the door. I was following close behind him, only stopping to thank the cranky nurse.

"I think it might be a good idea to go find Andrew," Liam said gently. That apparently didn't sit right with Carter.

"I don't need Andrew. I need for everyone to just leave me alone for three goddamn seconds," Carter forced out quickly. His hands going to play with his hair as he paced rather than walking to the track. He looked like he was about to have another attack as he squeezed his eyes shut. His hands reaching up to cup his ears as he slowly dropped to the ground.

"Carter," Liam said gently as he sat cross-legged in front of him. "Would running actually help?" Carter only gave out a jerky nod. "Then we'll run with you. Come on."

Liam started in a jog to the track. Carter followed that pace for about three seconds before he shook his head and forced himself to push faster.

Soon enough we had all made it to the track, all of struggling to keep up with Carter. Ryder was the first one who declared he needed a break; on the bright side he had done his mile in record time.

After the second mile Liam looked close to passing out while Carter was still going full steam ahead.

Now it was only me and Carter working on mile 3, nearly 4 at this point. I'll be honest, I was getting tired but I wasn't going to let him run by himself. At least he had slowed down a little bit.

"How are you feeling," I asked as we start the fourth mile. Carter shakes his head but says nothing else beyond that.

"As in you are about to puke or as in you aren't stopping for another 4 miles," I huffed out, trying to ignore the burn in my lungs. He doesn't answer at all this time.

I was torn. I knew I wasn't lasting another few steps, let alone another mile but I didn't want to leave him just in case something happened.

"You can go sit down," he huffed out as we started the 5th mile. He had barely let up this entire time. "I didn't expect you guys to join anyway."

"I was hoping you would take a break soon," I said gently, hoping to not full the anger anymore.

"I don't need one," he brushed off.

"Then I don't either." He spares me a side ways glance with a barely noticeable smirk as he speeds up again. Just when I thought he was going to take it down to a jog, he picks it back up to a full run as if that was a jog to him.

I don't how long we ended up running but I felt my heart surge when Carter came to a stop where were had left Ryder and Liam.

"Feel better," Liam asked gently as he handed Carter a bottle of water.

"Not really." His hand shook as he lifted up the bottle. I couldn't tell if it was because he was still mid panic attack of because we just did at least 7 miles.

"It supper time. Would food help," Ryder joined in as he handed me a bottle.

"Probably not." Regardless, he walked down to the cafeteria, leaving us to trail behind him.

"Is he okay," Liam asked as Ryder ran ahead to keep Carter company.

"I don't know. I think he's better than he was a few minutes ago but that doesn't say much."

"Are you okay," he joked. "I thought you were the one who was supposed to be in shape," gesturing to the sweat pouring down my face and the way my chest heaved.

"I don't want to hear a word from you considering you didn't even get past 3 miles."

Liam only huffed as he sped up to catch up to Carter.

Carter's POV

I wasn't thrilled about it, but I stayed in front for all of supper. I wasn't about to let Jax back up so soon.

"I see you finally joined us," Kyle joked as he sat down with the rest of them trailing behind him. I don't even acknowledge them.

"Is Jax doing okay," Boyd asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"He's fine," I huffed out with a small glare.

Liam gave me aside ways glance, clearing saying calm down but I don't care.

My soul focus was on keeping Jax from fronting.

Let me up there. You don't like them anyway.

I don't answer him either as I push my trey away.

Don't act like you can't hear me.

Are you mad at me or something?

'No.'

Then why can't I front?

My jaw clenched as fists tightened.

'I just need a few fucking minutes to not have another panic attack. Do you think you can give me that?' I seethe out. 'Just a few more minutes.'

Jax let out a quick 'sorry' as he shrinked back into the couch. I don't even try to hold back my sigh as I stood up from the table.

"I'm going to head to the cabin," I whispered out to Liam. I don't wait for his answer as I start walking.

Last updated June 7, 2021