Bring Me Home // Bucky Barnes

Chapter LIV - Secret Agreement

As she lay with him he had remained awake. At first he watched her intently as she slept, his mind preoccupied with the soft constellation of freckles across her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. He counted every last one and memorised them, like a map of the stars that he needed to know for survival. He watched as her soft cherry lips parted and she sighed contentedly in her slumber and he felt his heart jitter and jump as she pulled herself closer, subconsciously seeking his warmth. His arm remained around her, holding her close, and his fingers traced words against her skin. He wrote out his love for her in gentle caresses and feather touches. In watching her he fell further. In watching her he worshipped her. In watching her he knew.

She was his salvation.

*

Lizzie had never known such peace.

Her eyes remained closed as she stirred from her sleep, the rhythm of his steady breathing pulling her back to the moment - back to him.

She hummed against his chest as she felt him brush her hair from her face, his hand stilling over her in her waking moment.

"Sorry Doll," he whispered, pulling her closer. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." Her eyes fluttered open to a sea of ocean blue and deepest grey and she smiled softly.

Elizabeth lifted her head slowly, giggling as her hair fell in disarray around her face and his hands immediately reached to brush it back. Once her eyes were clear, he cupped her face softly and stared up at her. His eyes were wide and searching as he watched her lean in. He had starved himself of her love for two days and now he knew it would only be worse should he pull away now.

"Lizzie," he sighed.

She kissed him gently, lovingly, before laying down once more; resting her head over his heart.

"Yes James?"

"We need to talk about what happened..." His voice trailed off as she pulled herself up, a mischievous smile forming as she bit the corner of her lip and giggled.

"Well James. When a man and a woman love each other very much..."

"Come on Lizzie." He groaned, his eyes growing darker with worry as he looked over at her. "Please be serious for a second. You know what I mean."

She sighed as she pulled away from him, wrapping the thin sheet around herself and sitting up.

"Fine." She took a steadying breath as she watched him watch her, aware that if her voice wavered - if her hands shook - Bucky would only feel worse. She asked the one question she wanted to avoid, because she wanted to forget. "Why did you go Winter on us?"

Bucky rolled to his side, propping his head up against pillows as he watched her, his hand finding its place against her knee; holding this tiny piece of her softly as he spoke.

"There's a book Lizzie. I thought it had been destroyed a long time ago, but I was wrong."

She placed her hand over his and squeezed.

"It has these words, these phrases, that they used to say to -" he hesitated as his mind burned with memories long pushed aside. "- to change me."

Slowly Bucky pushed himself up so that he was sitting opposite her, his back against the headboard as his eyes misted with pain and confusion. Lizzie watched as his distress seemed to thunder and rage within him and she shuffled closer, lifting her hand to brush her fingers across his cheek, her palm resting softly against his face as his eyes closed and he breathed her in.