CHRYSALIS

38.

July 27, 2021.

I can't believe I've already covered the whole first chunk of the tour. The pink-haired shrink might be onto something, It has been kind of nice to get these memories out. It feels good to release them from my brain, I don't find myself replaying them over and over again anymore. I feel a bit lighter now, although I'm dreading the inevitable, these memories are at least easier to swallow now.

The last day of the tour was my birthday. It's a bittersweet memory for sure, but one of my favorites now. I was just looking at the gift he'd given me this morning and it seems pretty fitting to process this memory today, with the perfect soundtrack in the background.

Jo.

March 30th. Moscow, Russia.
Show 26.

I was in a strange mood this day. I was still sad and missing my friends, but Frenchie stayed behind in London to work and didn't join us for these last couple of stops, which made the vibe backstage much more relaxed.

It seemed everyone was a little warmer with her gone, a little louder and a little more aggressive like we didn't have to walk on eggshells around the situation any longer.

Sarah and Mitch were talking to me more often again, Charlotte had coffee with me a couple of times, Jeff asked how everything was going...it was almost eerie. I hadn't realized how distant they'd been until they came back.

Harry and I were able to chat, we had a few laughs over coffee one morning and he told me Anne's stories while I got him ready for the shows. It was an easy conversation, very shallow, but still enjoyable.

The morning of the 30th I woke pretty early, as I always did on my birthday. I spent a few minutes on the balcony, talked to gramps, and asked for some extra support when I left for New York. I couldn't believe that today was the last show for four and a half months.

I couldn't believe that tomorrow would be our last day together for four and a half months.

I remember thinking about whether or not I should tell Harry about New York or if that wasn't something he needed/wanted to know. In the end, I just decided to let it come up naturally in conversation, I wouldn't make it a big deal.

After my chat with the wind, I took a warm shower and got ready for the day slowly, lazily taking my time just because I could.

I wore black stretchy lounge pants that hugged my hips and thighs but flared out at the bottom, paired with a matching, cropped, black tank top and my lucky shirt over top. I'd change for the show, but this would do perfectly for the day. I slipped on my mules and added some simple jewelry and then I headed downstairs for some coffee.

When I opened the door to leave I was shocked to find a messy head of curls bent down in front of my door. He stood quickly and took in my appearance while I looked to the floor where he had set a tray down.

I could smell the hazelnut latte, and it was joined by a croissant and a large bowl of fruit.

I looked up at him finally and he had a shy smile on his face. He spoke and I could hear the morning roughness to his voice, "Good morning, Happy Birthday."

"Good morning. Did you think I'd be able to lift this tray and not spill that coffee everywhere?"

"Figured you could do two trips." He shrugged with a smirky grin on his face.

"Seems like a lot of work, would you mind bringing it in for me?"

His smile took over his whole face as he looked down and nodded his head. "I could do that."