Loving the Fighter

126

Jax's POV

"How does a dad session sound today?" Andrew asked gentle as I settled down into my usual seat.

"Not great," I admit with a small sigh.

At the mention of my dad, Carter tenses on the couch. It had already been a week since his break down but the memory was still a hard pill to swallow.

'Can you handle it or do I need to pick something else?'

I'll be fine, he huffed out as he leaned back against the couch, still tense but at least he was trying to calm down.

"But have at it I guess," I continue. Andrew smiles at that.

"What about your dad made you afraid of him? I'm not talking about what he did or said, but appearance wise."

"His face," I saw without having to think. "He was always so hard to read. I could never tell if he was mad or if he was proud or is he was a few seconds away from strangling me. I think that's why I didn't like Liam at first. Even now he doesn't always broadcast his emotions. You don't really do it either. Especially at the beginning but even now you do it. I know it's not fair to say that considering I do it a lot too, but it's a learned habit I guess."

"Does it still make you nervous when Liam does it?"

"Not nearly as bad as it was but when I'm about to have flash back or when he is scolding me for something, it gets a lot worse."

"And when I do it?"

"It worse when you do it," I confirm as look down and I play with my hands. "Liam isn't a threat. I could take him without Carter but you are a wild card. Either you are just tall and lanky and can't do much, or you by some miracle know how to use your limbs. It freaks me out."

I could feel his frown as he stared at me sadly.

"Have you always had trouble reading emotions?" He asked sadly as he wrote something down.

"No, just when people hide it but that's the whole point, isn't it?" I don't miss the bit of relief at his words. He had been testing me for something again. At least it looked like I failed this one.

"What about Carter? What scares him the most?"

His psychopathic tendencies. Carter says without even thinking.

'I don't think counts. He said besides the things he actually did.' I could feel Carter frowning as I shot Andrew a look that said 'give us a minute'.

Nothing then.

'Andrew isn't going to like that.'

Would you rather me lie?

"He says nothing." Andrew's frown deepens.

I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of what he did. I could sit here with him right now and other than some murderous thoughts, I would be fine until he did something.

I relay his words to Andrew. Andrew's face becomes unreadable for a split second before changing it to an almost frustrated look. At least he was trying.

"Do you have a favorite thing about him? Maybe before he got bad?" I don't have a chance to answer before Carter scoffs.

There isn't a damn good thing about him. He grumbled out with a humorless laugh.

"I liked that he always did things with me. Like playing baseball, going for ice cream," I tell both of them. Carter's mood only seems to worsen.

He only did that shit after he got done yelling your mom or me or when he was done slapping me around. All of those 'good times' you had with him was him trying to manipulate you into liking him.