The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 76: Alice

St. Petersburg 1916-1917
"Your Grace" I hear Helena's timid voice say. I look up from my desk as I wipe away my tears. Father Grigori has been murdered. My heart aches terribly, my good friend that has helped me and my family so much has been brutally murdered, in cold blood. Why do all the bad things happen to all the good people on this earth. "Yes?" I say trying to compose myself. She walks in with bedsheets. "Your Grace, Victoria has missed her cycle for 3 months already" she explains showing clean bedsheets.

I sit frozen, "What?" I say quietly holding back my rage. "Maybe she is ill? I thought nothing of it at first but I think a doctor should be called" Helena explains as I stand up and walk past her to Victoria and Madeline's room. Victoria sits at her vanity and quickly turns around as I slam the door open. Both daughters jump up at the sound. "Are you having sex?" I ask her bluntly as Madeline's eyes widen and Victoria's face turns pink and full of denial. "W-why would you ask such a question?" She stutters as she digs her fingernails into the back of her chair.

"Are you being a whore and having sex out of marriage?!" I shout at her with rage filling every bone in my body. "N-No!" She shouts. "Then why on earth haven't you had your cycle in 3 months? Are you with child?!" I yell at her full of rage. "No!" She says. I turn to Helena that is standing in the doorway, "Call the doctor immediately, tell him it's urgent" I order and she bows and quickly runs to the phone as I turn back to Victoria with a cold stare.

The doctor arrives and I let him in the room. Madeline goes out to Helena although I see her curiosity. She knows not to push me. Once the door shuts Victoria is examined by the doctor. Once he finishes he walks up to me, "Your Grace, your daughter seems to be in the 3 month of pregnancy" he whispers as I thank him and call Helena to lead him out. Victoria looks at me with fear as I walk up to her and slap her, "You are nothing but a disappointment" I snap at her. "Who's the father?" I ask her, "Or do you not know?".

"I do know" she tries to defend herself from my words, "who is it?" I demand. "It's george" she says quietly. "George? Scarlett's bastard george?" I say loudly as she is on the verge of tears. "You are never to see him again" I mutter as I don't look at her. My daughter is a filthy whore, Scarlett is to blame for this. I take Victoria by her arm and drag her out of the room as I demand the servants to pack her things.

"You filthily slut, you don't learn, you never learn"I spit as I drag her to an empty carriage. "You are going to be out of the public eye. No contact with anyone. You will live with your grandmother" I slam the door shut. "Take her to Maria Feodorovna" I order the servant as the carriage drives off. I go back inside and call mama. I explain the situation and hang up the phone as the mail comes with an invitation to Father Grigori's funeral. My heart pains me as I release tears, everything is going into utter shit. I lock myself in my office and scream as I throw everything off my desk. My husband is dead, my slut daughter is pregnant, my closest friend has been murdered. My life is a mess, my son is ill, he has been getting worse and worse. Who will help him now?

I let my tears fall as I start to weep. Why did everything have to turn out this way? Why is my life such a mess. My dead husband, disappointing children, my grief that never leaves me. I lay down on my sofa and shut my eyes, I hope to get better soon.
***
I stand at Father Grigori's grave. He has been fully buried, everyone left except for me and Anna Vybrova. "He did so much good" she says simply as I keep my eyes on his tombstone. "I know" I say timidly. "You think he is laughing at the silliness of the Russian peasants from the heavens?" She asks me. "I'm not sure" I answer quietly before looking at her. "He did not deserve this. Whoever killed him did it as an act against the monarchy. They should be severely punished for their crimes" I say as she looks up at me. "I agree" she mutters.

I take a deep breath as I look at the tombstone. "Farewell father" I say quietly and then look at Anna. "I will see you around" I say to her before leaving to go back home. I've been staying there more often, Nicholas is severely ill and I don't trust him with the Maids, they don't understand his condition. I arrive home and walk to his bedroom to find maids around him in tears as my heart stops.

He opens his eyes, "Mama, mama come" he says weakly. I run over to him, "what? What is it?!" I say frantically. "Mama get everyone here, I'm dying" he barely manages to say. Tears fall from my eyes, "What?! No! No you aren't dying" I hold his hand tightly. "Mama get everyone here," he barely says. I keep my eyes shut as I say no.

I sit and pray as I hold his cold bony hand as I continue to pray and pray.  I hear footsteps as I turn around to see everyone. My children, Scarlett and her family, OTMA. "Thank you Helena" Nicholas coughs as blood spills on his handkerchief. I look at Helena in disbelief as George, my sons best friend and the father of Victoria's child sits beside him. "I will miss you brother" Nicholas says, "Take care of Victoria for me".

"I will- I will miss you all." He says slowly as his eyes grow heavy. Weeping is heard around the room. "Where is victoria?" He asks. "Don't go!" I beg as I erupt in more sobs, "you can't leave me! You can't!" I cry hysterically. Nicholas barely manages to look at me, "Mama, you have so much more do in life, make sure to take care of Peter, he is a little rascal" he smiles before turning his attention back to everyone, "Goodbye" he says as he shuts his eyes.

The grip he had on my hand loosens, "Nicholas, Nicholas!" I scream with tears streaming down my face. "H-he is gone" george says quietly as I feel my world go dark.
***
I look at the fresh tombstone, places directly next to his fathers. I feel- I don't know what to feel. My heart aches every single day. I heard that Scarlett went crazy, serves her right. She sees
hallucinations and can barely identify the right person. I sit the at the tombstone of my Nickie. "You had so much to live for" I say with tears. I've been visiting him everyday, he needs his mother.