0.1: TAPE 1

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avengers compound was silent. it was never silent. like ever. well it was for good reason. y/n killed herself. steve found her on the floor in a pool of her own blood, wrists slit. tony was sitting at his desk with bruce across from him, both trying to distract themselves with work. natasha was as per usual, in y/n's room. she just stared at the wall most days with grief. the rest of the crew had their eyes glued to the tv. peter was still at school but he's be getting there any minute to look through his mission report. everyone was filled with disappointment in themselves. they all blamed themselves but no one would say anything. they fought about who's fault it was. it's in human nature it place blame and point fingers.

natasha notices something though. she was looking through the dead girl's closet for old photos and memories to salvage whatever was left of her. she finds a black leather box and she stares at it for a minute. she feels the bottom of the box and it's a yellow envelope. she peels the tape off and flips it over and realizes it's addressed to the avengers. tears brim her eyes as she gets a glimmer of hope and she runs out of the room.

natasha: guys...

everyone's heads dart to natasha and her black box.

bucky: what is it?

natasha: i uh i found it in her room. there was this envelope under it she holds it up and everyone starts to walk towards her

steve: have you read it? what's in the box?

natasha: no i haven't read it and i haven't opened the box either

wanda: read the letter

pietro and clint both roll their eyes. they think enough of the y/n talk she's dead. no goddamn ignorant. natasha holds the box in one hand and and peels the letter open with her thumb in the other. she reads it aloud:

dear avengers,
if you are reading this, i am most likely dead. now i have a lot to say to all of you but i couldn't seem to face all of you. so please, gather the troops around the conference table and watch the tapes all together. right after another. you have to watch all 15 in order.

peace and love,
-y/n

natasha looks up and tony rips the box for her hands. he pops it open and it reveals 15 video tapes. the middle ones labeled with a number one through 13 and a set of initials. the first one doesn't have one, neither does the last, but the second one does. s. r.

steve looks at the box and up at the whole team who had now moved their gaze from natasha to him. a ding comes from the elevator and peter walks in.

peter: what's up guys

tony: kid come with us

peter: what- why? he asks as he's being shuffled to the conference room with everyone else.

tony explains the situation to peter as he plops down in a chair. sam takes the first tape out of the box and puts it in. the large tv lights up and y/n's face is on the screen. wanda and bucky gasp and wanda leans her head on pietro's shoulder. after she lets out a deep breathe on the screen and adjusts the camera she starts talking.

y/n: hey guys...uh there's really no good way to start this. so this first tape is kind of an introduction to what you all just found. you all must remember how much i liked chaos. so if you're all watching these tapes, i am dead. gone from this world. and if you're watching it, you're one of the reasons why

some mumbling comes from the crowd but everyone is so fixated on y/n's face and words.

y/n: i'm so insecure i think that i'm definitely going to die before i drink. i was so caught up in the news of who likes us and who hates us. i'm so tired i might quit this job and go start a new life. and i know you'd all be so disappointed cause who am i if i'm not being exploited?

everyone looks around and some sigh. they knew what they did wrong.

y/n: and i'm so sick of all of you. where's my fucking avenging dream? if someone tells me one more time "enjoy this life" i'm gonna cry. and i never stuck up for myself. i'm anxious and nothing can help. and i kind of wish i did this sooner. and i wish you all liked me more. because really, all i did was try my best, this the kind of thanks i get? they told me " this is the golden life" she puts air quotes around the words. but i wish i could just- disappear. all of the ego crushes, they are just so severe. god it's brutal out here.

half of the team had their jaws on the floor or their eyes wide open.

y/n: wow this really feels good to get this all off my chest. now i said i loved chaos and i do, really i do. it's interesting. and you're all about to experience it.

the screen goes black and it's all silent.

tony: put in the next tape

sam: tony i-

tony: put in the next goddamn tape

natasha: this is what she wanted

steve: is this a good idea?

wanda: you guys aren't at all curious? we have to know what she says. steve you're just scared because you're next

steve: you're tape is in here too so-

pietro: everyone just shut up! you know what? i'm out of here this is stupid he stands up and starts to walk out

tony: speedy boy get your ass back here or i will kick you all the way to sunday. we are watching the videos.

everyone looks around before sam stands up again, takes the old tape out, and puts steve's in.

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