23 - Sharing is Money

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Business was booming for Harry and Draco.

Ever since they'd created their own horcruxes, they'd turned it into a business.

They called it the D.R.A.R.R.Y. Supremacy — Defying the Rules of Aging and Radically Reclaiming Youth.

Hermione Granger had been extremely bitter lately. She'd been selling S.P.E.W. badges for only two sickles each, and yet she only managed to recruit one new member per year.

D.R.A.R.R.Y. Supremacy badges, on the other hand, cost twenty galleons each, and yet there was always a very long line of students behind the door of the Slytherin boys' dormitory every night after class.

Harry remembered how he and Draco had advertised their business in the first place. They had made sure to make it discreet in order to keep the professors from knowing that it meant murdering people, but had also managed to make it extremely appealing so that nearly every Hogwarts student had already become their client.

THE DAILY PROPHET

ANTI-AGING THAT ACTUALLY WORKS: SAY GOODBYE TO USELESS MUGGLE SKINCARE THAT NEVER MAKES A DIFFERENCE

by Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy

Do you want to look like twenty year old Cedric Diggory? Yeah, remember him? Remember when he used to be the Hogwarts heartthrob? Yeah, this is what he looks like now.

Do you want to look like twenty year old Cedric Diggory? Yeah, remember him? Remember when he used to be the Hogwarts heartthrob? Yeah, this is what he looks like now

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Aging's a bitch. Don't be a victim. If you want to maintain your current face and body and look like that for the rest of your life, buy a D.R.A.R.R.Y. Supremacy badge for twenty galleons from Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin common room, then get in line behind the door of the leftmost Slytherin boys' dormitory, where Harry Potter will be at your service.

Office hours: Eight to ten p.m. Monday to Friday
Contact owl: Pigwidgeon. We don't actually own him but if you bribe Ron Weasley with one sickle he might let you use his owl.
Disclaimer: We are not to be held responsible for any accidents or post-service traumas.
Tip: Show up on a good hair day, and make sure you're not bloated from last night's noodles, or you're gonna look like a frizzy haired blowfish for the rest of your life.

Harry made every client do the Unbreakable Vow to not disclose their methods to anyone before helping them create horcruxes.

Most students stuck to making only one horcrux, as one was all they needed to preserve their physical features, but some students, like Pansy Parkinson and Marcus Flint, resorted to making more than six, and ended up looking like Voldemort.

Soon, ninety percent of Hogwarts students had at least one horcrux, and as soon as Harry and Draco graduated, they expanded their business nationwide, then eventually worldwide.

They were rich, successful, hot, immortal, madly in love, forever young, together for the rest of eternity and the happiest anyone could ever be.





The End

(It's not the end anymore, A/N added more chapters)

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