I'm Not Fine At All

Prologue

The sun was about to go down and Anne was rushing around the house, trying to get everything packed in the car. She was so worried that they were going to miss the fireworks. Harry stayed on the couch and watched her run around like a crazy woman, gathering snacks and picnic blankets until her were arms completely full. Harry's stepdad, Robin, sat across from him on an armchair, a cigar between his fingers. "Boys! Go go go, get in the car! We're going to be late!" Anne shouted as she stomped into the room and ushered for them to get up, pushing them out the door.

They all piled into the car and Anne started it, pulling out of their driveway and heading to Moore Park. It was only a fifteen-minute drive, but on the anniversary of the town being founded, the traffic to the park was ridiculous. It was the biggest holiday in Holmes Chapel, Christmas coming right behind it. Posters of the founders were plastered all over downtown, British flags hung from every lamppost, and there were mile markers on every road that led to Moore Park. The family of three finally arrived at the park, Anne parking the car haphazardly in one of the last free spaces. The car was on the grassy hill furthest away from where the celebration was happening, so it was a long, moist walk from where they were parked.

Anne cursed under her breath when she saw how crowded it was. She led the boys through the sea of chatty Brits, finally finding an empty spot under a large pine tree. They had an okay view of where the fireworks would be, but they were pressed up right next to a family of very smelly people. Harry made several rude jokes into Robin's ear before Anne smacked both of them, telling them to shut up. The two immature boys snickered into their hands and leaned back, ready to enjoy the fireworks show.

It began at 9:30 sharp, startling everyone with one loud boom, an explosion of colorful sparks appearing in the sky. The crowd erupted into cheers at the first firework, and they didn't let up until the explosions stopped. Loud booms echoed through the park, the ground rumbling underneath everyone. Harry's ears rang with the shouts of the smelly family next to them and the screams of the small children sat on his other side. They didn't seem to like the fireworks at all. Harry wondered why their parents would take them to see fireworks if they were just going to have to deal with them screaming the whole time. He thought to himself, "If I ever have kids, I am never taking them to see fireworks. I'll just leave them at home."

After the display, Anne told them to wait until most of the people cleared out of the park before heading back to the car. They finally made their way through the stragglers at around 11 'o'clock, having had to wait for hundreds of people to pack up first. "Come on, Robin, finish your little business meeting and let's get the hell out of here. You can call him tomorrow when it's not a town holiday anymore." Anne gestured for Robin to step away from his colleague that he had been in deep conversation with.

Harry's father was in the insurance business, which meant a lot of long nights and weekend business meetings. Harry tried his best not to hate his dad's job, but sometimes he just couldn't help but get mad. He never saw the man, and when he did, it was rushed and he ended up having to leave in the middle of it. Dinners were always spent with just his mum, sometimes with his friend Niall, he did driving lessons with his mum, he even got "The Talk" from his mum. Harry was incredibly relieved when his dad wrapped up his conversation within five minutes, shaking the man's hand before rejoining the other two.

Robin put an arm around each person's waist and led them back up to the car, giving them a bit of a boost on the steep hill. He opened Anne's door for her and then went around the car, sliding into the driver's seat. Harry got in, leaning back onto the headrest and shutting his eyes after he strapped in. Robin backed out of where they were parked and made a U-turn, heading down the back of the hill where they had come in. The car turned onto the main road leading out of the park and Robin sped up, coasting down the now-empty street. Everyone had gotten out of the park as quickly as they could, so the Styles-Twists had the whole road to themselves. Or, at least, they thought they did.

Robin merged into the far left lane, looking right before turning onto their road. All of a sudden, there was a loud screeching sound and the right side door was smashed in. The car was pushed off the side of the road and flipped over, landing top-down in a dried-up river bank.

Harry's head crashed into the window, which shattered at the contact of hitting the ground. The boy passed out for a few moments before coming to, his vision blurry and his head pounding. "Mum? Dad?" No response. "Mummy? Daddy? Please, answer me." No sound apart from the ringing in his ears and the engine groaning. "Mummy, I need you to answer me!" The boy undid his seatbelt and looked between the seats.

Harry reached out and pressed a hand to Anne's neck, pulling it back when he felt nothing. No pulse. He did the same to Robin and got the same result. Nothing. "Mummy, Daddy! Please! You can't die!" Harry sobbed loudly and tried to get out of the car, but the door wouldn't open. The boy was trapped inside the car with his dead parents.

He banged his fists on every surface, trying to get someone to hear him. The sound of an ambulance came closer to where the car was and Harry cried out, pounding his fists harder so that someone would know where he was. He thrashed around in the car, screaming and stomping, accidentally knocking his head against the door. His vision went black and he slumped down, the sound of shouting paramedics slowly fading out.

When Harry opened his eyes again, he was in a blinding white room filled with loud beeping. A woman in a white coat came into the room, a clipboard in her hands. "Ah, you're awake." Harry flinched at how loud the woman's voice felt. "Where am I? What happened?" The woman sighed and sat in a chair next to the hospital bed. "You were in a car accident, love, and now you're in the hospital." Harry looked around, trying to find something, someone, familiar. "Where are my mum and dad?"

The woman looked down and took the boy's pale hand in her own. "They didn't make it. I'm sorry." Harry's face twisted up and he let out a broken sob. "No no no, that can't be true. Mums and dads can't die. They have to raise me. They're supposed to live forever. They're coming to my school play next week. I'm starring in it, and they're so excited to see it. They can't go see it if they're dead. You're wrong. My mum and dad are going to walk through that door in a minute, and they are going to sit with me and tell you that you're lying. My mummy and daddy love me. They wouldn't leave me. I hate you! I hate you so much!"

Harry sat up and tried to hit the doctor, throwing his hands around violently. The doctor pressed a small red button next to the bed and a minute later, two large nurses came into the room. They walked over to the small boy and pinned his shoulders down, making sure to avoid his injuries. Another nurse walked in with a syringe, uncapping it and poking Harry's left arm. His body eventually tired out and he gave up, his hands dropping down to his sides. Whatever was in that syringe didn't make him go under again, but his body felt heavy, his eyes drooping with drowsiness.

"Harry, I'm sorry for your loss but I am not lying to you. Your parents are gone." Harry cried weakly and shut his eyes, hiccuping quietly as he shook his head. The doctor stroked his arm, knowing that what he needed most was comfort. The boy had been through a lot in one day. He had lost both his mom and his stepdad, after only losing his dad 3 years prior, and he had suffered a serious head injury that was messing up his memory and brain function.

The stress of the whole situation was going to cause long-lasting problems in the future. "Shh, Harry, just go to sleep. You need your rest. I promise you that you will be taken care of." Harry closed his eyes and his mind eventually slowed down enough to allow him to go to sleep. The doctor let go of his hand and walked out into the hallway, allowing the orphaned boy to get some much-needed rest.