If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - Chp 9 [Vulnerable]

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And your slowly shaking finger tips show that you're scared like me/So, let's pretend we're alone/And I know you may be scared/And I know we're unprepared, but I don't care/Tell me, tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible?/I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure/Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable/Impossible~Secondhand Serenade - Vulnerable

I sat there stunned, blinking at the wall.

After another two extremely long seconds passed I got up and in defeat I began moving more stuff. I didn't know what to think nor feel, I was numb. Robotic. It was as if I was detached from my body, my mind.

Slowly I reached for my bedside table and weakly I tugged at it, it didn't budge. My emotions were building like this volcano of pure rage. I tried again. I stumbled losing grip.

"AH!" I yelled kicking it. "Cant one thing at least" kick! "work?!" kick! "Is it so much to ask?!"

As quick as the rage had come it was gone. I was drained. Defeated. I fell to the floor. Tears began to fall along my face. I looked down at my hands as I cried uncontrollably, my hands trembled before my obscure vision and no matter how hard I tried to compose myself and push away this raw pain and cease the trembling I couldn't. "What's wrong with me?" I gasped as tears streamed, my eyes closed in attempt to shield myself. My hands sat cupped before me, doing nothing except capturing a puddle of pain. "God." I cried trying to find comfort "What is wrong with you?" I whispered my voice breaking in disgust at my reaction.

"It's not you."

The next thing I knew I was warm and secure, I was in someone's arms, their arms. His arms. His chin sat on top of my head and their arms were wrapped around my waist as they held me on the floor. I allowed my face to burry into the curve of their neck as I inhaled their scent sharply. We rocked back and forth in silence except for my unsteady breath as I attempted to gain peace. It didn't come; instead it took a while as all this pain finally exploded that I had held back.

It wasn't until I'd calmed down that I realized that they were speaking in the same rhythm as our rocking bodies; "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." That was all they said.

I didn't get it, because I was already over it. I'd already forgiven him. No matter how much I was hurt I'd always come back.

I moved my head so my cheek rested against his shoulder his warmth a blanket and his scent intoxicating. This was exactly where I had wanted to be all this time, and finally I was there. His hands pulled through my hair as he continued apologizing me as rocking me back and forth.

It was as I was about to tell him t was okay that he spoke, "Tanz don't say it's okay." He growled into my hair.

But it was; he was holding me. How couldn't it?

"But it-"

He spoke over top of me "No buts." He ordered my head bobbing as his chest vibrated. Through this unexplainable connection I could feel his disgust for himself, Will literally loathed himself. "I'm at monster."

I was speechless, every ounce of me wanted to comfort him, to cry at how he could think such thoughts. "Will you are not a-"

He cut over me again, not wanting to be convinced. He had already made his mind up, a long time before I came into the picture. "Not just my personality or what I am doing to you. But all myself, what I am, I am a monster."

I gasped "William Creed. You are far from a monster! Do not, ever, ever call yourself that again!" my body was burning with anger at I'm.

He buried his face in my hair "But I am. You don't know me."

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