Part Forty-Four: Breaks, Brilliance & Betrayal

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Your apartment felt cold upon your arrival. Empty. As If mirroring the hollow shell of your heart. You felt destroyed and lost since leaving Harry in Greece. But you knew no matter how hard it was, space would be good for you both.

He needed to look after himself before you could move forward with him.

It felt like you were yelling into the wind. An inked, emerald green wind with loving potential but distorted thoughts. You wanted to help him but it wasn't your job. At the end of the day, you had to put yourself first. You loved him so much that it hurt but he was constantly placing you in this situation. It was eating you alive.

You couldn't even be bothered unpacking your bag. You glared at it for a time before stripping off your clothes and sitting under the hot spray of your shower. Your tears melted down the drain and you wished the pain in your heart would, too.

It was almost unbearable. Being without him. Knowing he was hurting but you couldn't do anything. It wasn't healthy that his anxieties had slowly started to become your own.

You finally mustered up the courage to leave the relaxing fall of the shower, wrapping yourself in a large fluffy towel and avoiding your reflection in the mirror. Your phone buzzed where it sat on the bathroom counter and you reached for it.

Hi... You don't have to talk to me I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.

He knew what you needed. He didn't blame you for leaving. He'd let you do so even though it was the most excruciating thing he'd ever done. He was willing to give you space. But first, he needed to make sure you were home and safe.

You mulled over how to reply. Of course, you wanted to tell him you were safe. You also wanted to tell him that you missed him so much that it felt like there was a hole in your chest where he should be. 

I'm home, thank you.

Locked away in the room you'd fled from, Harry rubbed his teary eyes and stared at your response. You were safe. Mostly because you were away from him.

I love you.

Still so sure of you. Still loved and cherished you so much.

The three bubbles appeared and then disappeared. He swore at himself, thinking that he'd gone too far. But then the three bubbles popped up before being replaced by a sent text message.

I love you.

Harry felt his heart restart at your reply. A quick flash of sunflower yellow ignited hope he could see even through his teary vision. He wanted to ask when he could see you again, or even talk to you again.

But he knew he had to be selfless this time. You left for a reason. He had to give you time and respect the choice you'd made. It would be beneficial for both of you in the long run. So you sat and wallowed for the rest of the day, attempting to harness the agony and mellow it down but it was fruitless.

You felt like part of you was missing. No, it was worse than that because you knew exactly where that part was. You were just taking some time to live without it. But hopefully not long enough to adapt to it's loss, which made the pain so much worse.

It was a helpless feeling. You'd been forced to take a wobbly step back because you couldn't help him. Not while he held you at arm's length while you clawed at his merciless grip.

On days two, three, and four without Harry, you did what you always did when you were spiraling. You worked. Notorious and cutthroat, throwing yourself neck deep into your schedule. It was a great distraction, given how busy you were with clients you'd met at Max's event. You also caught up with your family, letting them fawn over your success and press you about your love life.

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