Deceret Series #2: Bleed for Love

Chapter 23

When the gods make a joke, it makes me sick. Their games are not meant for the weak. It takes a lot of bleeding, burning, and drowning just to satisfy them. Sometimes, it isn't even enough.

That's just how it is.

Or at least, the way I see it.

I could hear voices around me, murmuring, talking in low tones, as if the slightest noise will stir me from my sleep. I despised myself for bringing me back to consciousness, for making me hear them, making me feel them moving around the room.

"—tinulak daw yung best friend niya sa building."

"Dead on arrival. The girl with the broken skull, right?"

"I don't know why we're even treating her. She's some kind of a... monster."

First, I'm a mistake. Now, I'm a monster.

The monster who killed her best friend.

Nanatiling pikit ang mga mata ko. The murmurings never stopped. I never want to wake up. I pushed myself into the darkness again, hoping that this is all just an ugly nightmare. Eventually, my tired body gave in and I fell asleep again without opening my eyes.

Eventually, I wished that the sleep would last longer. That the sleep would last forever. But it didn't.

When I regained my consciousness again, I was forced to open my eyes. The smell of disinfectant and medicine hung heavily in the air. Rigor's back is the first thing I see.

Nakatalikod siya sa akin. His shoulders are tensed while his fists are pressed against the rails of the window. I could feel his anger burning six feet from where I'm lying. I felt so helpless. Tears burned my eyes again.

"I'm sorry..." I mouthed at him and then closed my eyes again.

Nakatulog ulit ako at nang magising sa pangatlong beses, hinang-hina na ang katawan ko. I fluttered my eyes open, and a nurse greets me.

"Miss Martenill?" she looks at me worriedly.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. My chest feels so heavy.

"You've been sleeping for 30 hours straight that we're starting to worry." She said while moving something on the IV connected to my arm. "I'll page your doctor."

Hindi ako sumagot at nilibot ang paningin sa kwarto. Rigor is already gone. Mas lalo lang sumikip ang dibdib ko. Of course, he's gone. He's probably mad at me. I'm also mad at myself. Disgusted, even.

"Sorcha..."

The nurse was about to head out when she heard me. She froze in the doorway.

"Where is she..." my voice trailed off. I'm clinging to the last thread of hope, a miracle, that she's still here. I'm begging in my head that she survived.

She cleared her throat and looked away. "Wala po kaming emergency person na matawagan para ipaalam na nasa ospital ka. Pero may lalaki pong bumisita dito kanina."

"Si Sorcha?" I insisted again.

She looked down. My heart sank.

"Nandito na po ang doktor niyo."

A tall elderly man entered the room and spoke to me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. All I know is that I'm crying and thrashing around the bed. He eventually stopped talking and called the nurses to sedate me. My throat burns as I sobbed and called her name again and again, until I felt a sharp prick on my skin and seconds later, I was sleeping again.

I didn't want to wake up. Ever.

Inulit-ulit ko ito sa isipan ko nang maramdamang nagkakaroon ulit ako ng malay. This time, I couldn't move my hands freely. My breath is shaky. I turned my head to the other side when I heard voices again.