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JOSHUA WASN'T GOING TO STOP TRYING.
No matter how long it took.
Joshua took a deep breath as he strolled down the street in Ayoluwa's neighborhood, one hand holding a hot tea from Starbucks and some paint shade samples and paintbrushes in a bag from Sherwin-Williams.
In the back pocket of his jeans, Joshua could feel his phone start to vibrate and ring but he ignored it.
He trekked up the steps that led to her brownstone, praying that he wouldn't drop the scalding tea.
Through the closed door, Joshua could hear Ayoluwa sing Colors Of The Wind from Pocahontas at top volume, making Joshua start to smile.
"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Or ask the grinning bobcat why he grins? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?" Ayoluwa belted.
Once he rang the doorbell, he could hear the singing cease and Ayoluwa's dog start to bark.
"Hell-. Josh?" Ayoluwa questioned as soon as the door was opened, "I wasn't expecting you until later."
She was dressed in old Juicy Couture sweatpants and a tank top with no bra.
Joshua forced his eyes up, "Hi, yeah, well. I was in the neighborhood so that I could talk to the head coach and figured it would be easier to swing around and paint now."
Ayoluwa blinked then opened the door a bit wider, "Okay. Come in. Ignore Firefly, she's obsessed with this one squeaky toy."
Sure enough, a black German Shepard puppy was chewing determinedly on a small unicorn shaped toy, her eyes on Joshua.
"I know you're not doing coffee right now but I remembered that your favorite tea is green and ginseng." Joshua lifted up the tall sized Starbucks cup to draw her attention to it.
Ayoluwa raised an eyebrow, took the cup from him and tossed into her trash can then turned to look at him for his reaction.
Joshua struggled to keep his face neutral, trying to pretend that the brutal rejection didn't sting, "A simple, 'I don't want that' would've been nice."
"It would've been, right? That's how I felt when you made me blow out candles and throw away rose petals. Sucks not being appreciated, right?" Ayoluwa asked.
"I... I deserve that. I'm truly sorry that I made you feel that way." Joshua said, gazing into her eyes so Ayoluwa knew he was genuine.
She said nothing, her lips pressed together, "Come on. We should get started now, like you said before."
Joshua took off his shoes and followed Ayoluwa up the stairs.
"So, I was thinking..." Ayoluwa began with an excited smile on her face, "That I have the nursery in the place with most sunlight."
She stopped in front of a room towards the front of the house and opened the door.
Placed in the room were things that Ayoluwa was going to use to decorate later: a rug, plants and a few stuffed animals.
"You have a theme?" Joshua asked, 'I wanna do this jungle theme or clowns."
Ayoluwa wrinkled her nose as she picked up a gray teddy bear, "When I think of clowns, all I can picture is when you made me watch both parts of It. Pennywise is a creepy motherfucker. Clowns are creepy."
Joshua laughed a little at the memory, "You were so scared. I had to vacuum my room like five times because you spilled it from jumping."
Ayoluwa snickered, "Your mom was so annoyed with me for that. I remember, I had to give her free jerk chicken from my grandma's restaurant three days in a row to make up for it. How is your mom by the way?"
"Excited for the baby," Joshua began to pilfer through the bag, "She wants to put in her two cents for the middle name: Benjamin."
"Nasir Benjamin Christopher." Ayoluwa pondered aloud.
Joshua tried not to jump for joy at Ayoluwa using his last name for the baby instead of her own.
"He's gonna have a long name," Joshua chose to comment instead.
"Right? His initials are gonna be 'NBC'. What paint colors did you get?"
"Uh, blue, taupe, this kinda cool lime green that I thought you would wanna try because I know your favorite color is green," Joshua rambled a little.
"Thanks for doing this with me even though this isn't your home. I was afraid asking was a little... I don't know strange." Ayoluwa admitted as she took the small can of lime green paint from him.
"I'd do anything for you. You know that." Joshua replied as he took off the plastic wrapping from a paintbrush.
He could see Ayoluwa hide her grin from him as she popped the lid and then peered into the vibrant color, "Ooh. You were right, I fuck with this color."
Joshua pointed the paintbrush towards her and she took it, "What about you? You have a theme idea?"
"I was thinking clouds but now that I've seen this green, maybe rainforest? Put a bunch of smiling lizards on the wall. I don't know." Ayoluwa said.
Joshua's phone began to ring once more and when he checked it, he saw the contact of 'T' on the screen.
By Ayoluwa's pointed glances and diminished excitement, he could tell that she saw it too.
Joshua pressed his thumb into the screen over the red button.
"You're not getting that?" Ayoluwa asked in a cold tone, her focus on painting a streak on the white wall.
"No. It's not important." Joshua said in a casual tone.
Ayoluwa glanced up at him and then revealed a half smile, letting Joshua know that he had done something right.
