BAU Baddies
Derek: Aaron motherfucking Hotchner🤬🤬🤬
Garcia: not the girlies fighting :0
Y/n: OH MY GOD LOOK AT DEREKS DESK LMAO
Emily: OMFG😭😭💀 RIP
Hotch: Good morning!
Derek: WHY ARE THERE TWO STACKS OF REPORTS ON MY DESK??? WHAT THE FUCK😭
Hotch: idk do them lol
Emily: 💀💀 yeah derek do your work
JJ: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WE WARNED YOU ABOUT FLIRTING WITH HIM LMAO
Y/n: he had it coming tbh ^
Derek: TF ITS A JOKE I FLIRT WOTH EVERYONE THIS IS UGLY BEHAVIOR FRUITCAKE🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾
Hotch: What did you just call me?
Derek: F r u i t c a k e. Go flirt with another male nurse or smth👍🏾👍🏾
Emily: Derek💀 hes gonna either cry or go off
Y/n: derek you're predominantly straight, kindly shut up 💅
Hotch: Imagine speaking when light literally bounces off the top of your head hmm.. tragic. grow some hair then come talk to me baldie </3
JJ: YOO😭😭😭
Emily: OMFG THATS GOLD IM GONNA FUCKING PISS MYSELF EJEHEJEJ 💀
Y/n: HOTCH??? OH MY GOD?? WE BROKE HIM😭 LMAO
Derek: I- for once in my lifetime I have nothing to say
Emily: OH I KNOW HES GONNA GO CRY LMAO L TAKE THE L 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 BAHAHHA
Hotch: 🍼 go sleepy dewek
Y/n: I LITERALLY CANT BREATHE RIGHT NOW OH MY FUCKIMG GOD
Rossi: Oh my lord
Derek: What kinda milk we talking..👀👀👀
Hotch: Your moms👍🏻
Hotch: Garcia told me to say that
Garcia: NO DONT THAT RUINED IT WJEGJEBWNE
Emily: PLEASE WHAT📸📸
Reid: 👾
JJ: Very nice Spence thank you for your input
Reid: No problem, I try my best.
Derek: :// I want almond milk
Hotch: I'll put heaping amounts of nyquil in it!☺
Y/n: Nyquil gives me weird ass dreams
Derek: gives me wet dreams😋😋
Hotch: I will remove you for a week I swear.
Derek: NO NO PLEASE IM SPREY WVEN THOUGH I WASNT JOKING
Emily: YO WHAT 😦📸 NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT
JJ: Nyquil is ass I just pop a bunch if melatonin gummies fuck it
Derek: fuck it pop a choccy life is hard 😔😔
Emily: What're you, fucking twelve? Shut up 💃🏻💃🏻 please!
Derek: DAMN I MAKE INAPPROPRIATE JOKES, YALL BAG ON ME I MAKE WHOLESOME ONES, YALL BAG ON ME LET ME LIVE 😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬👿
Hotch: what the fuck is a choccy and why are you popping it?
Derek: 💥🍒
Emily: This is why we make fun of you 🤔🤔
Y/n: ayo that can mean two things and neither are good😟😟😟
Reid: Why is exploding cherries bad?
Reid: WAIT I'll google it.
Hotch: Reid, don't please don't
Reid: Hm okay!👾
Hotch: Derek SHUT UP
Derek: 🧍🏾♂️ damn okay
Emily: did u mean squashing boobies or bc sometimes people call boobies cherries but I have a feeling you meant the other..
Derek: yeah😔👍🏾👍🏾
Y/n: Put ur mfing thumbs down whatre you hitchhiking?
Derek: FUCK OFF OMG
Y/n: n o.
Hotch: Derek, respectfully, you're a bit too old to be popping cherries please never say that again
Emily: WHYD YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT 😭😭😭
Y/n: no no, he has a point
Derek: Wait 😬 nvm I take it back <3 I'll put myself in timeout
["Derek" left the chat]
Hotch: I didn't even have to say anything lol
Emily: PLEASE DONT ADD HIM BAVK I AM BEGGING YOU FIRE HIM
Y/n: YOURE OUT FOR HIS BLOOD OMG
Emily: HE ANNOYS ME
["Hotch" added "Derek]
Derek: FUCK YOU EMILY🖕🏾🖕🏾
Emily: NO YOU'RE A MAN.🤬🤬🤬💅
Derek: Damn u right u right..
JJ, spank her for me 🤚🏾🤚🏾
JJ: AYO?
Derek: 😋👍🏾
Hotch: Do you want me to remove you? 😠😠
Y/n: OMG THAT EMOJI LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU
Emily: OMG IT DOES 😠
Emily: 😠- I'm fruity
So accurate
Hotch: 👍🏻
Derek: WHY CAN SHE INSULT YIU WHAT TEH DXUK😔😔
Hotch: When someone else who isn't straight does it it's not insulting☺☺
Y/n: ^ ?
Rossi: I do not belong in this conversation
Emily: THEN LEAVE??? LMAO😭😭😭
Reid: My doctor said I need to stop eating 3 jars of nutella a day :(
Derek: .. THREE? KID OH MY GOD EAT A CARROT OR SMTH
Y/n: He's fine leave him alone
Y/n: but yeah spence go get smth other than nutella plz
Garcia: :)
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
