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24. Addy

      Adaline quickly learns that Clay is ten times more affectionate now. On the drive back she lets him put his hand on her shoulder or on top of her own hand. She lets him hold her hand when they walk into his empty house to drop off his stuff. She lets him kiss her cheek and the back of her hand. He smiles when she does, when she tells him she likes it when he just simply touches her, it makes her happy to see how proud he gets of himself.

She asked him to take it slow. To let her have a first date, a minute to breathe. So she doesn't let him kiss her again no matter how much she wants him too. It's taking an insane amount of effort not to kiss him herself.

It's weird. Alien. She doesn't know what she's doing and it's not like she wants to ask anyone how to do it. Who would she even ask?

They fell asleep in the back of his car again before going home, a short road trip to see something she might not get to see again until she finishes school. A short road trip across states she doesn't care for. A short road trip that she doesn't regret going on because she is literally walking up the stairs to her apartment and Clay is holding her hand and it's all okay because she is allowed to be okay.

      "Hey," Clay says, the two standing outside the door to the apartment. "I can pick you up on Wednesday at like...Seven? And we can go see a movie?"

      "Busy, I need to finish my psych assignment by Thursday,"

Clay nods, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Friday then? Same time? First date."

Adaline nods this time. First date, she wonders if it leaves a taste in his mouth to say that and be referring to her at the same time. It doesn't feel...Bad. But weird. Definitely out of place, there's a fear. A huge fear, a fear that makes her pretty much nauseous. What if this ruins the friendship? Would it? Do relationships do that? Maira's relationships have always ended well and Madi and Dante have both only been in one- each other. All of this is new, and Adaline isn't used to it.

First kiss, first date, first relationship. It's sad that it's taken twenty one years to get it.

      "Yeah. Yeah, I can do Friday. Uhm..." She trails off, wanting to say something more but the right words won't come to mind.

      "Yeah?" They stand there in painfully awkward silence.

Maybe it's not a good idea. This will all end in crash and burn, friendship over and life ruined. How is she supposed to know? There isn't some guidebook for this.

      "I've never been on a date before," she looks down in embarrassment. "So uh, cut me some slack, okay? Don't really know what I'm doing."

      "Our fake date doesn't count, huh?" Clay laughs.

      "Fuck, actually forgot about that one. Guess it doesn't count since it was mostly just shitty arguments and...Yeah."

God. The 'date' with Ian felt like so long ago. She never did end up going into detail about the whole criminal record thing. After all, Clay never asked. Maybe it's about time she tells him, just so he knows. Maybe if he knows he'll back out. That's a risk she knows needs to be taken early on.

      "You wanna come in for a bit? I kind of want to talk about like...Stuff," Adaline gestures to the door. Clay agrees and opens the door for her-

      "Merry Christmas eve, Addy."

As soon as they open the door, everyone is there. Madi, Maira, Dante, Aimee and Gabriel. Aimee. Gabriel. Her siblings. Dante? What is going on?

She can feel her hands start to shake and her chest tighten.

      "Hi? Aimee? Gabe? I..." Adaline is at a loss for words. She knew that they were coming, of course she knew, it's all she's been thinking about. But yet, every time Clay has even attempted to bring it up she has pushed it off, waving it away for a different Adaline to deal with.