Coming Home (English Version)

46. Father

Hamdan

I cannot take my eyes away from them, let alone describe what I'm feeling. It's so much more than love, happiness and admiration put together. It's... it's... I don't know. What I do know is that I'm beyond grateful for my amazingly strong wife and my healthy boy.

After I cut the umbilical cord, Houyem takes our baby from Layla for his first bath and I follow her. He has a head full of dark hair and his feet are not bigger than my thumb. He cries for the first time and the sound takes over the entire bathroom, it is a sound that I will never forget. He seems to relax afterwards and Houyem takes him to our bed to measure him and weigh him.

She goes to grab a diaper and hands it over to me. "Would you like to put his first diaper on?"

I say yes with a bit of hesitation. I can hunt, I can deep dive, I can jump from an airplane, I can speak in front of an audience but yes, a diaper is making me nervous. I unfold it like Layla and I did a few days ago and lift his legs up to put it underneath him.

"Good," Houyem encourages me. "Now over his belly."

I finish my task with a smile on my face. I did it. I know how to put a diaper on. Houyem brings the clothes Layla and I had already chosen for him to wear and starts dressing him while giving me a few tips and pointers. Finally, she puts a white cotton hat over his head and swaddles him like a burrito in a baby blue blanket.

"I think he wants his daddy," she tells me when he starts crying again.

She puts him in my arms and I'm holding him for the first time, unable to stop admiring our little blessing. When I look up, I realise Houyem is gone and it's just him and me in the bedroom. I start to gently rock him from side to side and the crying stops. Right when I think he's falling asleep, I see him struggling to open up his eyes.

"Hi..." I whisper as he blinks a couple of times.

I want to introduce myself but the knot in my throat keeps me from talking. Right away I know that there's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for those curious eyes looking back at me. 

Layla slowly walks into the bedroom assisted by Helen and our mother.

"How are you even standing?" I ask in disbelief.

If men gave birth I'm positive that we would spend weeks in bed in a hospital afterwards.

She giggles. "I even took a shower already," she stops in front of me, kisses our baby's head and looks up at me. "You look so handsome as a dad."

"Those are some strong Arab genes," Helen points out. "He looks exactly like you!" She tells me.

"It's like I'm seeing you as a newborn again," mama concurs.

My chest grows with pride. I don't mind how he looks but it's nice to know that he will definitely be as good looking as his dad.

Mama holds him while I help Layla sit on the bed and adjust some pillows to support her back. It's time for breastfeeding but it's also very late, so I advise my mother to go home and accompany her and Helen, who's also leaving, to the door. I take the opportunity to sit in the living room and reply to a few messages and calls to let everyone know that both Layla and the baby are doing great.

When I come back to the bedroom, Layla looks at me with a big smile on her face.

"He's eating!" She exclaims.

"Just remember to make sure that he's positioning his mouth correctly," Houyem reminds her, while standing next to the bed.

I get on the bed next to them to watch the beautiful scene and Houyem lets us know it is time for her to leave as well.