The Black Sisters

sixty-two

Remus didn't forget what dorea said, he never did. Even as the nights passed he watched that star when he happened to pass by. As the sun fell and the moon rose on the full moon he didn't dare look at the moon, he looked at Dorealius until his gaze was torn apart.

Nights later he was sat in the basement of the shrieking shack, his friends all surrounding him. They joked and laughed, trying to distract Remus from his problems for just a few moments. But as the moon rose above the tree line his friends went upstairs to change and to await his change. Leaving Remus alone with his silence.

Remus had never forgotten how lucky he was to have the friends he did. he worried quite often about them, about him hurting them and them leaving. he worried he was to much of a monster to be friends with such people. Sirius was so happy with James' family, he was happy. But Sirius had broken up with Remus right before he ran away. They told no one, it hurt them both to much.

Remus didn't understand why Sirius had broken up with him, he figured Sirius wasn't ready to come out but all sirius had to do was tell him and they would have remained a secret. It hurt Remus a little more each time he saw Sirius with a girl, a girl perched on his lap or giggling at a joke. It was like sirius was taking a hammer to his heart. 

There was a certain girl Sirius was always with, this Marlene, Lilly's friend. Remus envied her, he could never look her in the eye without jealousy seaping through his pores. Remus had always been worried that Sirius would leave him, for someone better, someone safer. And it happening only hurt him worse. He wore a smile through out the day but at night he was so tired he could barely hold his eyes open. tired from the pretending and exhausted from the heart break. He had always slept a lot, but never like this. he had always slept a lot because he was physically tired, now he slept a lot because he was mentally tired, he wanted the world to just go dark. It was ironic, some don't sleep so they don't have to endure the nightmares of their subconcious. Remus slept so he could escape the nightmares of his reality, so he could just breathe and sleep and be. So he could no longer exist in reality, rather in some pocket of his mind, far away from Marlene, or sirius, or his furry problem.

Remus shut his eyes for a moment peeling off his old sweater. When he opened his eyes he stared at the stars, one star individually. He wondered if Dorea was telling the truth, if Dorealius was a real girl. He had thought a lot about it when he had nothing else to do. Simply pondered the idea of this young girl who bled out from the thorns of flowers.

He wondered why dorea would tell him the story, why she'd go in such depth. he'd barely heard her talk for months and suddenly she tells him this story. Why'd it just now come up? Why had he never heard of Dorealius? why had she never told him before? He saw Dorea walk the halls alone a lot, she was slipping away to some pocket of her mind but not by sleeping. he didn't know where she was, why she acted like a ghost. She seemed alone, he wished he could do something about it. but he had his own problems to deal with. He wanted to help her, but he knew he had to heal himself to ever be able to actually help her. he didn't want to shatter a girl who'd been cracked.

Time could heal couldn't it? Time could heal the both of them.

those were the last thoughts he had before his bones began to crack and the agony of each month replayed in his mind and in his body as his eyes shifted from the bright star beside the north star, to the big bright full moon.

***

Somewhere in the middle of the night, while James, Sirius and Peter kept company to Remus they heard footsteps. James and Sirius looked to each other, then to peter. Peter nodded in his rat form and scurried up the steps to the balcony, to hi surprise he saw Dorea wandering the grounds, he ran through the tunnel to the whomping willow to make sure she wouldn't come to the shriecking shack.