Chapter 28

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Trigger warning ⚠️  this chapter contains subjects that might be heavy to some readers.
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I had a nightmare. I haven't had them for a long time. It was usual for them to emerge during this month. Worse, when I woke up soaked in sweat and hyperventilating, I couldn't remember anything. It was frustrating. I spent the night awake, listening to the same voice in my head, recalling all my problems. I tried to shut it down; it kept going. I tried to ignore it, it kept proposing me a drink, and for God's sake, I am trying to quit. These past months, alcohol has been my relief. I wanted to go through all my tribulations without a drop. I took that decision so promptly, and I wasn't confident I would be able to do it. I needed to be sober to pass those exams. Being the Salutatorian was more important than anything, and I was determined to do it.

I made peace with the unfair decision of not going to my father's memorial. I would stay on Campus during the holiday to take all my tests. I believed that happened for a reason. I was sad I couldn't see my father's grave this year, but who knew what would have happened for I went to New York. The thought of me being alone on campus recoiled me. By the eleventh of the month, everyone would be spending Christmas with their family. How nice to have a family, that's all I wanted. I assumed we don't always get everything we want in life.

Christmas decorations were already lavishing the campus. The dining hall was splendid and Royal with the gold and red expensive and ceremonial ornaments. Classical Christmas music embraced the halls. The fresh smell of nutritious traditional dishes praised our nostrils. Two giant Christmas trees have been up and decorated so far. One in the main courtyard to welcome the Christmas spirit and the second in the center of the dining hall.

The first trimester exams started today. Since we all had seven classes, the examination was separated into three days and one day off before leaving on Friday.

We were all reunited for lunch after taking the first two tests of the day. Xavier was complaining about how he wrongfully answered the most accessible questions. Part of my mind was listening. I was preoccupied with my spoon playing and stirring my strawberry yogurt. He realized I wasn't paying attention; he hit the table harshly, provoking my yogurt to fly everywhere. I apologized for my trance. Usually, he would have cursed me out for ignoring him, but the compassion in his eyesmade me recoil. I hated pity. I haven't told him about the wilderness program yet; only I would spend Christmas here. Alone.

Before he could bring up this subject, I asked him about the newest trends. A burst of laughter enriched the hall. Agea got up from the center table where Julian, Juan, and other students were eating. She said a sentence that sent the boys to another crazy laughter. She took her tray and headed to our table. She sat down and madly put her tray down.

"Don't you hate when your friends are telling embarrassing stories about you? I was a child, and who asked?" She roughly bit into her ham sandwich.

"And I presume the friend is Julian?" I pointed out to the boy, enthusiastically telling his friends a story.

"A dick!" She exclaimed, "So what are your plans for the holiday, guys? We are going to Alaska. It's so lame! I wanted to go to Antarctica to visit Santa's shop and play with penguins, but I guess my parents are afraid of bears or something."

"Eh... you mean Poland?" Xavier interrupted her confusingly.

"What?"

"You mean Poland. This is where Santa's shop is, and they don't have penguins; that will be Antarctica."

"Isn't it the same thing?"

Her seriousness made me choke on my water. I whipped the water coming out of my nostrils as I giggled because of Agea's facial expressions. She was genuinely confused as Xavier explained her basic geography.

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