Lovesick ✔

chapter seven ; best wingman check

AMOS

"What on Earth is wrong with you?" I exclaimed. "That's the most terrible pick-up line. Does that even deserve the title of a pick-up line? I doubt it does."

Alex raised his index finger over to the front of my lips in an attempt to silence me, "That's a lot of talk from a fellow who's been single his entire life. At least my awful pick-up lines managed to get me a girl."

"What would your girl say if she know you were flirting with me?" I challenged, raising my brows at him.

"Nothing. She knows I flirt with you and she still does nothing. You wanna know why, Singh?"

"Sure," I shrugged.

He let out a groan as he shifted closer and closer to the point where his lips were right beside my ear and I could feel his breath on the side of my face, "Because," he began, purposefully taking his sweet time before leaning in even closer. "Even she knows nobody would fall for your ugly ass."

"Oh fuck you," I gasped, kicking him where the sun doesn't shine, sending him flying onto his back as he held onto his manhood with a loud yelp.

"You fucking bitch!" he hissed, rolling onto his side and crying out like a little baby. "Oh you're gonna fucking pay for that, Singh."

"I don't think so," I responded, sticking my tongue out at him before scurrying to my feet and attempting to run far away from the man I'd just attempted to murder (by sending a kick to his nuts).

He, however, was far too fast for me and managed to kick the back of my knees, sending me down onto the floor in slow-motion. I made out with the floor for the second time that week - but this time I was pretty sure he'd managed to get me to do the splits as well, because I didn't recall there being a terrible burning sensation between my thighs before having been pushed to the floor. Now the two of us were in pain. 

Whilst letting out noises of struggle, we burst out into a fit of laughter. 

"You're an asshole, Black," I said, trying to catch my breath. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me actually, I might need a diagnosis," he hummed. "Perform a physical examination on me or whatever it is you doctors do."

"Physical examination? You want me to check your heartbeat and shit? Alright, pay me then."

"Come on now, that's unfair," he gasped. "You're my best friend, do I not get even a discount?"

"No, pay up."

"Amos Singh? More like gold-digger Singh," he commented like it was the funniest thing in the world. 

"You went to college, check your own damn heartbeat," I joked, rolling my eyes at him. 

"Just say you're too dumb to know how to check and go," he scoffed, waving me off.

"Who do you think you are?" I gasped dramatically, pretending to be hurt as I placed my hand over my chest.

I watched as he reached into his back pocket and pulled something out of his wallet, "Who do I think I am?" he then proceeded to pull a card out in front of him. "According to my ID card, I seem to be Alex Black, aged twenty-five-" 

"Didn't ask, don't care," I said, parroting what he had said a day ago.

"Speaking of not caring," he began. "Remember the Tinder thing we spoke about?"

"I don't recall," I lied.

"Let me refresh your little pigeon brain then," he started before getting distracted. "Pigeon brain? Do pigeons have brains? Doesn't it seem like their heads are far too tiny to contain a brain? Tiny brains sound gross. But I suppose if a brain can fit in that head of yours, anything can fit anywhere."

I ignored the insult he'd just shot my way, "That sounds really wrong."

"That's the point," he grinned before clearing his throat. "Right, back to the initial point. You should really try getting Tinder, dude. Who knows? You might meet a really cool guy or girl. If we're talking about guys, you should probably just get Grindr."

"I'm not interested in dating," I stated bluntly.

"Why not?" he questioned. "Oh, can I have your phone for a moment?"

I threw my phone over at him before leaning against the desk behind me, "It's just.. I don't understand the concept of love. It isn't that important anyway. I don't know why everyone acts like it is. Sure, I'm twenty-six but I still have plenty of time to find the one for me. And so what if I don't want to find the one? So what if I want to spend the rest of my life alone? Nobody's going to stop me if that's what I decide to do with my life. It's my life after all. Besides, I feel like balancing a love life and my work life at this point would be incredibly hectic. Do doctors even have stable love lives? I doubt it. Maybe I shouldn't have be-"

"Hey, Singh? Shut up for a moment, yeah?" Alex interrupted before throwing my phone back at me.

"What'd you need it for?" I questioned curiously.

"Just made you a Grindr account."