Irreplaceable

prologue | recap

JASMIN MARTINEZ

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In ways, the last five years were the most beneficial yet the most painful years of my life.

Five fucking years.

Over the last few years, many things have changed.

Fuck, I changed.

Five years ago, I was an insecure girl, with no confidence, with nowhere to go, no home, a cracked heart. But, today I was the opposite. I was confident, I have an empire under my name, a place of my own, with no insecurities, and a somewhat healed heart.

The best female ran business was mine, my hard work and effort paid off.

Although, all this didn't happen overnight.

The first year, I was a normal girl, the same. I worked several jobs to keep up with the bills and college. The one bedroom apartment, in the worst neighborhood, was my home.

The small kitchen with no living room was my bed. I allowed my momma to sleep on the bed while I slept on the cold hardwood floors where I would cry myself to sleep.

I wasn't enough. I was a failure.

And, then I slowly started my small business. Constellations. My interior designing business flew off after a while. I now own one of the largest buildings, in Los Angeles. A business that started single handily, was now evolved into a multi-billionaire company. Thirty percent of the proceeds go to a local orphanage, that helps young girls who have no parents or are recused from abuse. Another twenty percent of my own personal paycheck also going towards the organization.

None of this would have been possible if I killed myself now, would it?

Maybe, everyone does have a reason to be on this planet Earth. This was my reason. I was suppose to help others, I went through trauma to better understand what others might be going through as well.

Don't fucking give up.

You have a reason. A reason to live. You might not know what that reason is. But, you will soon.

And, life with get so much better afterwards.

I fucking promise.

I was a dumbass myself. In high school, I would have all these fuckers step all over me. For what? I question myself everyday.

Sometimes you just have to grab lemons and squeeze them in peoples eyes. Instead of grabbing lemons to make plain ass lemonade.

I realized a lot about myself in the last five years. Man, my self-growth journey came a long way. Anyone who knew me in high school knew how stupid I was. In high school, people would talk to me as if I was piece of trash. But, now those same people come and ask me to hire them. How the tables have turned, huh?

It's funny, how they judge one from looks. Tells a lot about someone.

I went through it all. I know what it feels like to get shit on every single day of your fucking life, how it feels to get abused, how it feels to get PTSD, panic, and anxiety attacks, how it feels staying up all night because of all the trauma, how it feels getting touched without your consent, and how it feels to get replaced by the one person you thought would never do such a thing.