3 - the Pain

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11:27 pm

I was staring at the tv. I don't really know what's happening to the small people.
I was just staring, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Until...

I found myself clutching at my stomach. There's something... Ugh... a blooming sharp pain, crawling through my skin, suddenly shivering. Then a thought of what happened this lunch crossed my mind and the pain constricts my muscles.

The temperature seems to go high up and climbing. I managed to turn to the AC, 17°C. Am I imagining things? Aw. I crouched on my stomach, there's a bit crawling to my thighs and it's... painful!
Damn, it's too hot!

My head is slightly pounding and I have to close my eyes to contain myself.
The heat crossed my chest and my heart is being squeezed. My lungs are not taking air properly, and I inhaled sharply, tryin to control my breathing. It hurts. It does hurt! Aw! I closed my eyes shut, deciding that this is just a nightmare that i will soon forget. I was curved like a ball and my body slumped on my bed. Gripping the covers, trying to know there's something to hold on into.
The burning did not stop instead it's boiling me inside out, trailing with razor sharp stings. It hurts.

I bit my lip preventing to make any sound. My mind was dangerously off course, peeking unto all my nightmares.
"Hmmm..." I pounced at the mattress.
I'm shrinking into more pain and deep blue eyes peered into my consciousness. I hate them! I yelled inside aimlessly. I hate it!

My thoughts were incoherent and I felt so tired.

I don't know what happened after.

*Ring!!* I lazily pounced my alarm to stop. I was about to stretch but i felt like someone punched me too hard. Ouch.
I stretched slowly waking myself up. My bed was a mess. I blinked a few times. It was just a nightmare.

After making my bed, for a hundred years....... my trip to the bathroom took another hundred years.

As I strip, I saw the after-effect. Wow! It's purple and greenish and pale and just... wow. I did not know that nightmares would paint this good.

I took a hot bath, experimenting if it would make the art go away or at least fade, but it did not. It hurts that i'm laughing.

I smiled. now, now, it's not boring.
I managed to slip on some long sleeves and jeans.

My day at school did not start the same. Now, i'm being pushed or pushed or tripped for whatever reason they suddenly found. huh, I love my life.
Lunch was the most exciting part. I thought I would crave for avocados and I did. But... there's a but, they made a good effort to ransack my lunch. I saved my avocado drink, though.

Maybe, I need to bring my own lunch. But I don't want to cook.

And so the days passed by. I witnessed my bullies getting and getting more creative, each day is a new adventure. Well, as to my partner, he's still in his staring game and that does not change anything.

A few more days passed and the nights were horrible, there are always this nightmare and it looks like, i'll always be a canvas, get it?

But I'm used to bruises and broken bones. I'm used to being wounded and alone. And so, I sat at some vacant bench, putting alcohol on my wrist. What?
They are really being creative. I watched my hand slightly twitch at the touch of alcohol. Well, I'm basically bathing my hand with it. I forgot to bring a cotton.
I saw some on dramas when they dab some alcohol soaked cotton to wounds. I was just curious so i bought the alcohol and forgot the cotton.

I was about to bathe my much wounded wrist with alcohol but i was stopped.

"What are you doing?" his low voice ran chills on my skin. He demanded answers. And I have to look up to drown... again, no. I developed a slight immunity from those piercing blue eyes.

"Uh... wound plus alcohol?" I stated the obvious.

"Go to the clinic." He commanded. My eyebrows almost go up.

"Why?" all i could ask holding too many meanings.

"Tsk. Come." And... he pulled me up, making me yelp. what? It's not a gentle pull.

"Let go!" I demanded. But he's not.
Narrowing my eyes, i sat down pulling more weight. He stopped, shocked at my action, maybe, so I took the opportunity and snatched my hand.

"Damn!" I fell to the ground, but i'm free from his grasp. His towering figure is intimidating. His eyes flashed with annoyance. He crouched and his hand...

"What happened?" I immediately receded back, covering my bruise. Unfortunately, my shirt went up a bit and he has sharp eyes to notice the unpleasant color. He is pulling it up even more.

"What are you doing?! Let go." I said pushing his hand away. Was he worried? Was it real?

He let go, yet still too close.

"From when did you start having that?" Suddenly, i don't know who he is.

"None of your business." I said standing up, dusting myself. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Unclean.

He also stood up but eyes were still on my body. Suddenly conscious, I stepped back. Repeating to myself. "It's none of his business."

He remained silent, eyes clouded. Haven't you rejected me already?
And so i walked towards him, to clear things up.

"It's none of your business." I whispered as I pass.

That night, I did not have that nightmares, and that... was more terrifying. My sleep was swarmed with another nightmare.

The next day, I stared at the window only getting up for brunch which I did not finish. I want to go for a walk. I slipped on a hoodie, because it's what my closet is mostly filled of and started walking aimlessly for what seems like hours.

The school have bullies, my life has bullies, yet I promised to walk this path, even if it means going through all of this. If people reject me, I can't do anything, that's what they chose to and I won't mind. I should not. The promise of trying to continue living even if all is gone, is the only thing that I hold on into. Maybe, with this... I can atone for whatever sin it was.

As I came back up from my thoughts, I noticed roots at my feet. Taking in my surroundings, I realized that I'm in the forest. Oh.

But I did not head back. I stared blankly to darkness, imagining things. Imagining a nice place where laughter can be heard, a smile, some happy faces.

I'm tired.

*Snap*
*Snarling*

Amber eyes staring at me. It's coming closer. But I'm really tired.

Not minding what creature was in front of me, I sat down. I would prefer the pain in my stomach, my nightmares every night. I sighed hearing another footsteps behind and there, I happily succumb to sleep.

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