Forbidden (mxm)

21. Forbidden (Danail)

   Everyone went to sleep long ago. The big hall on the old oak, high above the ground is silent now. I lean on the wooden railing of the terrace that surrounds it and take a deep breath in the warm scented air. The giggles of the girls, the chatter of the soldiers and the clatter of cutlery at dinner are all gone. I hear only the sounds of the forest, strange, intoxicating and unknown. I will never be able to have rest, not tonight and not ever. 

   My head will explode. My heart is pounding. I still see his skin, his wet hair, falling on his shoulders, his smooth thighs. These pictures are burning my brain. My hands are shaking. Forbidden! He is forbidden, but also mine. I gave him the golden moon. This is irreversible. He gave himself to me. He promised to love me forever. But forever does not worth a damn if I can't touch him. How are we going to beat the odds when everything is against us? The war code says I have to marry one of his sisters. My father obviously considers a disaster the mere fact that we met. Holding and kissing him is a taboo. Why then do I have to fight and keep going? If craving him will kill me, let it be as soon as possible.

   I turn around with determination and almost run across the bridge that leads to his chamber. The light from the scented candles he likes so much seeps through the cracks of the wooden door.

   I enter abruptly, forgetting to knock. Sai is sitting cross legged on the bedding with his back to me, shirtless, combing his hair which is slung over his shoulder. He turns gracefully to look at me. There is no surprise on his face, as if he was expecting me. 

   My legs suddenly weaken at the sight. He is so beautiful that it takes my breath away. I am approaching him slowly, but he reaches out and grabs the hem of my shirt, pinning his eyes on me.

   His red lips are glistening, the bottom one bitten between his pearly white teeth. His silky hair is hiding his delicate chest, but leaves the enticing smoothness of his back uncovered. His elegant, gentle hands are trembling, squeezing the fabric.

   "I need to touch you," I breathe out, falling on my knees in front of him, desperate, driven close to insanity.

   "No, you can't," he whimpers. "It might hurt you. I've never been touched, but the priests say it will harm anyone who tries."

   "Do you want it?" I hoarsely utter. "Do you crave to feel my skin on yours?"

   "Yes!" he moans, tears filling his sparkling, pink eyes. "Dey, I need it more than the burning desert needs a drop of rain."

   "Then I'm not afraid of any pain," I whisper and cup his cheeks in my hands.

   He screams. His whole body quivers violently. His eyes are wide and unbelieving. I take a deep breath, waiting for the pain. Maybe, it will burn, or feel like stubbing, or like poisoning. I've experienced all these types of pain and am prepared to take them soundlessly. Seconds pass but nothing happens. All I feel under my palms is divine softness and the cool moisture of Sai's tears.

   I become brave, seeing that nothing bad comes upon me, and pull his face close to mine. His breathing is hectic. He opens his mouth to say something, but I can't wait for the words to come out and capture his lips with mine.

   He squeaks and freezes, unable to decide what to do, but finally relaxes and presses closer.

   I taste him slowly, gliding my mouth on his bottom lip first, from one corner to the other, and then on the upper one. His mouth is like velvet, soft, smooth and as sweet as honey. I start placing light kisses on his lips. He moans. His arms sneak around my waist. His body leans on mine.

   My palms slide up his back. The muscles tremble under my fingers. His loud whimper at my touch makes my head spin. I suck his lip in my mouth, as gently as I can, and immediately feel the hesitant tip of his tongue, trying to reach mine. He is the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. I can kiss him forever. I won't be able to stop. The moment our tongues touch, he cries out, pulling away.

   "What happened?" I'm still trying to hold him close.

   "I... I don't know," he whispers. "I'm... it's... my... it's... hard..."

   Tears fill his eyes and his cheeks become as red as the dessert sun. He's fidgeting nervously in his place, crumpling up my sleeve.

   "Down there, you... made me... hard," he mumbles.

   "Oh," I gasp, realizing what he means. "Your body reacted because I kissed you?"

   "Mhm," he nods, blushing even more. "It has never happened to me. It's pleasant, but torturous at the same time."

   "Why?" I tentatively ask.

   "Because it makes me want something, but I have no idea what it is," he sniffles. "It's not just want. It's more like need."

   He's so sweet that I'm tempted to squeeze him in my arms and kiss him like crazy, touching him where he needs and giving him relief, but I know I shouldn't. He was raised like a flower under a glass dome. This is the first time ever another human being touches him. It was his first kiss. He's aroused and doesn't even know what this is. He needs time to get used to all these new emotions.

   "You are excited. This is arousal. Don't worry. It will get better in few minutes, if I don't touch you more," I smile soothingly, but internally scream because I want him so badly that it hurts.

   "But I prefer you to touch me more," he sobs, wiping his tears.

   "I will, I promise. I'll touch you so much more, my precious dessert flower, but we'll take our time. It's all new for you. We'll go slow, step by step, and give you time to get used to the sensations."

   He nods in agreement and asks quietly, "Can I hold your hands?"

   I immediately grab his soft hands and gently squeeze them.

   "Do you like being touched?" I ask softly.

   "I like being touched by you," he smiles. "I've never wanted to be touched by anyone else."

   "They lied to you about the pain you can cause," I frown. I'm getting angrier with every tiny detail I learn about his life. He was worshiped, but isolated and deprived of so many things that make a child, a person happy.

   "It's not a lie," he shakes his head. "It's the truth. I know it is. It just doesn't apply to you."

   "Why do you think so?" I'm curious.

   "I don't 'think' about how things are, Dey," he chuckles. "I know it. Not everything, but many things I know. You're the only person in the whole world that can touch me. I saw it the moment I felt your skin on mine. It's because you're Dai Danail. You follow God's whisper. You follow me."

    "Then no one can take us apart from this moment on," I state with determination. "I'll always follow you. I pledge myself to you."

  Sai leans his head on my shoulder and sighs, "Can we kiss again in the morning?" 

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A/N

Hello at the end of chapter 21!

Thank you for reading and supporting! ❤❤❤

What do you think of the first time ever Sai was touched and kissed? 😀

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Love: Anny

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