Alpha Rogue

5 - Mutilated

"Why were you in the forest?" he asked, my eyes not leaving the front, watching trees and houses, watching the empty road.

"You could've been mutilated." he paused. "It's dangerous out there." I did not say a word. His tone was annoyed.
The idea of being mutilated crossed my mind. Such an interesting choice of word. But no, I know I will live.

I saw a very familiar street, we're a few blocks away from my house. There are houses nearby, and the sun is still up. It's barely past noon.

"Can you drop me here?" I said undecided if he will with his stubborn self.

"We're not yet in your house." His deep voice we're trying to threaten.

"Can you drop me here, please?" It's none of my interest how he knew my address, of course there are ways. I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Put your seatbelt back." He's still a bit calm but I know anger.

"Please drop me here." I repeated trying to sound pitiful.

"Dammit Nathalia, put your seatbelt back on!" He pounced at the wheel. The sudden mention of my name momentarily take my head astray.

"No." As I try to focus. "I want to get off." My hand on the door. "Please."

"Dammit." He whispered and I saw him pulling over.

When we stopped, I quickly opened the door before slipping off. I mumble a thank you and made my way home.
I don't care if he followed me or not.
My eyes trained to my feet, how they move. As if I don't own them.

I never want to come home in a car, the memory of my "home" coming into view as the car slowly drove is messing me. It was too empty. Even if I put myself inside, it still is.

Aiyu drove me that time, he was mumbling things but my eyes were fixed to my "home". How it was big and empty for me, how it will stay the same forever.
The moment I enter the house, I did not go to bed, instead I opened the TV and started doing the project on the coffee table as I sat on the floor.

I don't fully understand what's on air, but it's a habit to open it, to drown the silence. Sometimes I'm really watching, you know, Spongebob and sometimes the news.

Iced tea and sandwich were my company. I felt in my pocket and held the bottle. Pain reliever, huh? I cleaned up when the TV started to show news, news and news on every channel. My energy only led me to short bath.

Mutilated. I remembered him said. What if I was mutilated?

I turned to the mirror, my body has still purple spots on some area. Told you they'd be gone for a while.

My arms and knees have some healing cuts from when my bullies pushed me on stairs, the parking lot, the locker room, the gym... sigh.. I'm not into counting.
I turned to my wrist were I washed it with alcohol. There's still a trace of it, for now.

I like to trace those scars, remembering the blood trying to get out. I breathed out turning to my reflection staring back at me.

My dark brown eyes almost look like black. Long wavy hair brushing my shoulders, not much to my liking but I'm not cutting them. Its black waves are fun to braid sometimes.

I'm 5'6", last I check. Sometimes I wish to be shorter so I could disappear in the crowd.

My sight turned to the pain reliever bottle. I brought it here to fundle about. I opened the cabinet behind the mirror and lined it nicely to a couple bottle of the same, still unopened.

They are interesting things but taking one is not a thing I would consider.
I changed into a large dark green shirt and shorts. Sitting at the end of my bed, staring to nothingness. Imagining a picture on the wall, the rich forest, a laughter, running, playing around.

I lay on my back, now facing the ceiling, but my vision is clouded with the stars beyond, the dark sky, the black ocean above. I imagine a comet in space with its long gown shimmering. Too beautiful. The galaxy, the moon... it's different faces yet it was really whole out there. If only....

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(I'm still wondering if this story is worth continuing....)