𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐇𝐄𝐋 || legolas greenleaf¹

ONE ; DWARVES

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TEN YEARS LATER...

Blibo Baggins hated the unexpected. So his reaction to dwarves appearing at his front door after his earlier confrontation with a wizard was far from short of calm.

Four dwarves had already arrived at Bag End, and Bilbo turned furiously towards the front of his house when the doorbell rang for a forth time that evening. "No! No, no! There's nobody home!" He shoved the swords and knives that the dwarves Kili and Fili had dropped into his hands onto a shelf, and stormed toward the front door. "Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" Bilbo opened his front door, and a group of dwarves fell into the house. Behind them, Gandalf the Grey crouched to poke his head through the door. Bilbo recognized him immediately. "Gandlaf."

On the other side of the door way, stood a figure with a cloak that covered them, hiding their face in shadow, though they clearly smoked a pipe, as the end of it stuck out. The person was rather tall, but not as tall as the wizard next to them, and they seemed to have a bow attached to their back, along with its arrows, and the tip of a long sword could be seen sticking out from under their cloak. The figure brought with them a mysterious atmosphere that made Bilbo uneasy as he continued to chase the dwarves around his hobbit hole, attempting to stop them from trashing his possessions.

Throughout the chaos of the next hour, the cloaked figure kept to the corners of each room they occupied, smoking their pipe, keeping their face hidden above all else. When all of the dwarves and Gandalf had sat down to eat the food raided from Bilbo's pantry, the mysterious person only ate a single turkey leg, and drank a tankard of ale, then went back to smoking.

By the time they had all finished eating, the dwarves either wandered the house or attempted to clean the dining table and dishes.

Bilbo chased after the dwarf Bofur, and plucked a cloth out his hand. "Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dish cloth!"

"But it's got holes in it." Bofur argued.

"Its supposed to look like that. It's crochet."

"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too. If you got the balls for it!" Bofur and a few of the other dwarves laughed.

Bilbo shoved the cloth into a cabinet nearby, and muttered angrily to himself. "Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!"

At that moment, Gandalf had approached him in the hallway he stood in. "My dear Bilbo, what on Earth is the matter?"

Bilbo turned to him in disbelief. "What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves! What they're doing here?!"

"Oh, their quite a merry gathering once you get used to them." Gandalf assured the hobbit.

"I don't want to get used to them. Look at the state of my kitchen! There's mud trod in the carpet, they...they've pillaged the pantry!" Biblo started to walk away. "I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom, they've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

One of the dwarves, Ori, walked up to Bilbo, holding a plate. "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

Fili walked by, and took it from him. "Here you go, Ori, give it to me." He tossed the plate across the hall to Kili, whi threw it to another dwarf in the kitchen. They continued to do this with all of the other plates, laughing as they did so.

"Excuse me! That's my mother's Westfarthing pottery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo hollered after them. The dwarves started to use the cutlery to create music by banging them together and on the table. "And...and, ca...can you not do that, you'll blunt them!"

Bofur laughed. "Oh, d'you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!"
They all laughed, and continued to make music, now singing along to the beat.

Kili started. "Blunt the knives, bend the forks"

Fili added on. "Smash the bottles, burn the corks"

And everyone else continued. "Chip the glasses and crack the plates. That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth and tread on the fat. Leave the bones on the bedroom-mat, pour the milk on the pantry-floor, splash the wine on every door, dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole. When you've finished, if any are whole, send them down the hall to roll!" As they sang, they tossed the plates and bowls across the kitchen, washing them, and stacking them on the table. "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

The dwarves all laughed as Bilbo pushed his way into the kitchen, and looked shocked to see all of the dishes stacked neatly and cleaned on the table in front of him.

Suddenly, the door bell rang for the last time that night, and everyone went quiet. "He's here." Gandalf said. Everyone exited the kitchen, and made their way into the entry room, watching as Gandalf approached the door.

The wizard opened it, and behind it was another dwarf. This was Thorin Oakenshield. "Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find." He said, stepping inside. "I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all if it had not been for that mark on the door."

Bilbo widened his eyes at that, and tried to look. "Mark? There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!"

"There is a mark, I've put it there myself." Gandalf told the hobbit. He took a moments pause, then looked at Thorin. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce you to the leader of our company; Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin looked at Bilbo, studying him. "So, this is the hobbit. Tell me, Mr Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" Bilbo said, taken aback by the question.

"Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice?"

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know. But I fail to see why this is relevant."

"I thought as much." Thorin turned to the other dwarves. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." The dwarves all laughed, and they made their way back into the dining room.

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