DAGGER IN THE HEART

twenty-three

Hey guys!
I'm going to kindly ask you to play the song above when reading the flashback :)
Obviously it's an option!
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DAVINA'S POV:

The whole car ride we were both silent, but once in a while I caught him glancing over at me and frowning.

Tears streamed down my face the whole way to Eli's and bile rose to my throat.

My brain couldn't comprehend any of it. I watched him kill someone and didn't even have a hint of remorse.

But every second I sit there the more I think- how am I any better? I held a knife to the mans throat and threatened to slice it open.

What if Matteo wasn't their to stop me? Would I have slid the blade across his throat and had been the one to kill him?

Could I even kill someone?

All these questions kept forming in my skull, until I felt my head throb.

I wanna hate him, I really do. But if I could do the same to someone how was I any better than him? And for the love of God, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate him.

He was in me like a damn virus. All the private moments where he touched me and knew my body like nobody else.

He knew how to make me blush and things that would make me laugh. He let me trace his tattoos when we laid in bed, and he held me against his chest while we watched every movie on Netflix.

Matteo was my person.

He was my Cristina Yang.

The person I'd run to when the world is falling apart and his touch could light me into flames from how hot it burned.

I knew that I wasn't falling in love with him. I already did.

And to think that he was part of this whole other world, I couldn't wrap that around my head.

flashback 1 month ago:

"It's pouring", I mumble and duck my head out from under the umbrella. Matteo and I tried again for a second date and this time we were out on a patio with the soft hue of bulb lights.

"Do you like the rain?" He asks and I softly smile at the flood forming down.

"I love it."

"Come on", he sticks out his hand and I take it, following him through the deck and down the steps. I noticed he threw money on the table before he whisked me away.

The middle of the town was empty, from people getting in their cars and not wanting to get soaked.

Matteo made his way over to some stand and whispered something in the guy's ear before throwing a dollar at him.

All of a sudden when he walked closer the song "Another Love by Tom Odell" played through the town speakers.

"Dance with me in the rain?" He smirks and a grin reached my lips.

"You're making my 9-year-old dreams come true", I say and place my hand in his. I tuck my hand in his and wrap my other around his shoulder.

His arm finds my waist and we rock to the slowed music.

My emerald green, silk bodycon dress getting soaked from the downpour.

He let go of my waist and twirled me around as the puddle of water splashed along my ankles.

"I don't know how I went my entire life without knowing you Davina Blackwell", he said while looking at my flushed face.

"I'm not sure how you did either", I shrug and feel my lips tug upward. "I'm pretty darn great."

He laughs.

I mean he laughs.

Not the fake ones he usually throws out there- this one is genuine. And just the sound of it makes my heart melt.

"Yeah", he stops laughing and presses his forehead against mine. "Yeah, you are pretty fucking great."

I pull back and bring my finger to his lips. "Shhh, no curse words. It's bad for the environment bro."

He lightly grabs my chin and forces me to look up at him. "Call me bro one more time, darling, and I'll leave you out here."

"So rude", I roll my eyes and place my hand back on his shoulder. "Get some manners bro."

"I warned you", he says before pulling away and slowly walking to the car.

I let out a squeal and run past him, so I can get there before him.

But I feel a pair of hands grab my waist and pull me back. "Don't run, your dress goes higher and I very much do not wanna have to punch those guys over in the stand."

"Fine", I sigh and nuzzle my head in the corner of his neck.

I feel his hands reach down and tug the bottom of my dress so it's now positioned correctly.

"Such a gentleman", I laugh and feel him kiss my temple.

"Only for you."

"Davina", I hear Matteo softly say and I squint open my eyes. "We're here."

I spot Eli's house in front of us and rub my eyes before noticing a black jacket covering me.

I take it off and place it in the back seat before unbuckling my seatbelt and finding my clutch.

"Here", Matteo says and hands me the purse.

When I start to unlock the door Matteo softly grabs my hand and pulls me back down. "Please tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

I let out a sigh and lean back in the seat. "Why didn't you just tell me", I whisper and gaze out the windshield.

"I didn't want you to see me as everyone else does."

"Matteo", I softly say and feel the tears prickle in my eyes. "I would never judge you for who you are. But I would like to know if the man I've been spending time with is in the mafia or not."

"I'm sorry", he whispers and I finally turn my head to him. I noticed a fallen tear down his cheek and I immediately stretch over and wipe it away.

"One day you're going to tell me how other people see you. I want to know everything. Who this version of you is, how many people you've hurt, what you've done. I want to know it all."

"But not tonight", I shake my head and wipe away a tear. "I'm too tired."

"Ok", he says and looks up at me.

"Ok", I agree and get out of the car.

I make my way up to Eli's bedroom and waddle in with my heels in my hand.

He lays shirtless in the grey-themed bed and wakes up when I flip on the lamp.

"D", he yawns and looks at me. His eyes widen when he sees the streaks of makeup all under my eyes and my hair all knotted from tugging on it. "What happened? Are you okay? Was it Matteo? I'll fucking kill him."

"I'm just so tired", I croak and feel Eli pull me into a hug.

"Let's get you cleaned up and you can lay in my bed, okay?"

After showering and pulling on some sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt I crawl into Eli's bed.

My phone goes off so I slowly grab it and see the light flash across my face.

MATTEO;

Good night my love, sleep well.

A tear slips down my face when I shut my phone off and close my eyes.

Wishing sleep could wash away this awful night.