Blood Enemies • The Vampire Diaries [2]

XX. BLOODSTREAM

"Why am I here, again?" I asked, letting out a heavy sigh as Elena set down yet another box of decorations in front of me to go through.

"You're here because we really need the help," Caroline answered, joining Elena and I with a clipboard in hand. "besides," She flashed a gentle smile at me. "I missed you."

I returned the smile, but I didn't really feel much behind it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I missed Caroline, but this all just felt weird. We were setting up the gym for tonight's Roaring 20's decade dance - I'd killed two classmates in that same gym just a few weeks ago.

It seemed so pointless for me to stand there and help, to even go to the dance tonight. A year ago, I wouldn't want to miss a school dance for the world, but now it just didn't feel the same me anymore.

"So," Caroline began, as Elena opened up the box in front of us, revealing an assortment of shimmery streamers. "Who's everyone bringing tonight?"

"I'm not - " I shook my head, confused. "I'm not going."

I was just there to help, but there was no way that I was going to actually go to the dance. It was awkward enough between the three of us, I didn't really wanna see Bonnie and the rest of my friends, if they even considered me a friend anymore. There was absolutely no way that I could ever look Bonnie in the eyes, and apologize, because there was no apology that could encompass how sorry I was for what I'd done to her.

"What?!" Caroline protested, setting down the clipboard. "No, you have to go! Look, you've already missed two weeks of school, tonight is your big comeback, Lyssa Gilbert!"

"Right," I said, before glancing between the girls. "And what was my excuse for the two week absence? Because I don't think road-tripping with a psychopath is gonna go over well.."

"Easy. You were in Denver, visiting Jeremy." Elena told me, before playfully tossing a bright pink feathered boa around her neck. "And I thought you," She looked back at Caroline. "Bonnie, and I were going as girl dates."

"Hm, Bonnie has a date."

"What?"

"Jamie called and wanted to see her so she asked him." Caroline explained, and I almost forgot for a second who Jamie was. Then I remembered almost killing him. Ugh great, I thought to myself. "So here's a thought, why don't you ask Stefan?"

"I can't ask him on a date, I just made out with his brother."

"You and Damon made out?" I asked, surprised.

I wasn't that surprised, but it still came as a bit of a shock that Elena felt something more than disgust for Damon Salvatore. She'd always told me to stay away from him, tolerated his presence at most, and now she was just being a hypocrite.

It felt like she couldn't trust my judgment, like no one was ever going to be deemed good enough for me in her eyes.

Before Elena could explain, Caroline continued to press the idea of asking Stefan to the dance, and I no longer found myself wanting to help out. "All the more reason!" She pointed out. "Look you're supposed to be figuring out what you want, that's what Stefan wanted you to do, right?"

I scoffed to myself, biting my lip, trying to contain myself.

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing! I've watched The Bachelor, okay? Fair is fair. It is Stefan's turn."

I felt my heart shatter - no, it didn't shatter. It was bleeding. Every single day that I had to watch Stefan love my sister, my heart bled. I knew that I had no right to be jealous, and so bitter over someone that was never mine, but I just kept thinking about Denver, and about our kiss - was he ever really Elena's if part of him wanted me, too?