Chapter 22

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''I don't know if what you did will work for me

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''I don't know if what you did will work for me...'' Tyler sighed at Vincent as I sat between them, sipping my Margarita quietly. Their conversation was intense, to say the least. We met up about an hour and a half ago, yet we were still stuck in the same spot talking away and trying to come up with a solution.

''I get it, but you have to come up with something right for you'' Vincent shrugged, stealing my cocktail slyly. ''First, focus on friends and family. Then, when that's done, take it to the public eye'' He continued after a long sip.

''My dad will literally behead, so I don't need to worry about the public eye'' Tyler joked, making only Vincent chuckle. I stated at him, frowning at the thought of his father finding out the truth about his son. I couldn't help but wonder, what would my parents say if I ever got to tell them I was actually bisexual. Would they accept me? Or would they freak out?

''What's up?'' Tyler nudged me, frowning.

''I'm...bisexual'' I dragged out with a frown matching his. ''And my parents never got to know that about me. Heck, not even my brother knows...what advice could I be giving you? If I haven't even done what we're trying to get you to do...''

''Oh...'' Vincent raised an eyebrow, slightly confused.

At that moment, I realized what I had done. I let it slip. I let the truth about my parents slip in front of Vincent, forgetting all about my lies to him and my other friends. ''It's okay, Scar'' Tyler squeezed my hand in support but I couldn't pull my eyes away from Vincent. He was staring right back at me, one perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in question.

I gulped, before opening my mouth to speak. No words found their way out, however. I was terrified of his unpredictable reaction. I loved Vince. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

''Scar...'' Vincent mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. ''What do you mean...your parents never got to know?'' He tilted his head to the side, examining my tear-filled eyes. ''Scar, what do you mean?'' He pushed, growing worried.

Tyler butted in, ''Let her breathe for a sec, Vince. She'll tell you, just don't push it right now''.

''No, tell me, Scar'' Vincent's brows furrowed.

''Hey, just-''

''They died...'' I croaked out, cutting Tyler off as he tried to stand up for me. I was unable to see them clearly through my tears, by now. ''They're dead'' I whimpered.

''What?'' Vincent muttered, not believing the information he just heard. Trust me, Vince, I can't believe it either...

''THEY'RE FUCKING DEAD, VINCE!'' I screamed, thankful there weren't many people at the little beach bar we sat at. ''Burned to a crisp, on their way to some fucking useless business trip!'' I howled, feeling Tyler rub my back in support.

''Why...why didn't you tell us?'' Vincent shook his head, not understanding.

''I don't know!'' I cried, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. ''I didn't want our friendship to change. I didn't want any pity, I hate the fucking pity! And I just...I wanted to act like nothing changed...like I was still the old Scar''

He stared at me, tears filling his eyes too, ''Oh, Scar...I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Scar. I can't believe you went through this in secret...fuck, I'm so sorry''.

''It's fine, really, Vince'' I sobered up, clearing my throat. Tyler's eyes were heavy on mine but I refused to look into them. ''I've processed it and I'm okay. Really, I'm fine now'' I assured Vince, nodding at my own words. Lies, lies, lies.

''We're gonna help you get through this, okay?'' Vince tucked a strand of my hair away, smiling sadly. ''I just wish you told me earlier, Scar'' He whispered, grazing my cheek with his finger. ''You need to let more people into your heart, you know. It can get real lonely on your own''

Those words stuck to me for the rest of the night.

I knew who I wanted to let into my heart.

***

I banged on the door, tears streaming down my face.

''Scar?'' Hunter opened his door, eyebrows furrowed. I looked behind him, into the room they were given for the trip. ''She's not here'' He added, noticing my searching eyes.

''Good'' I swallowed hard, before grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room. I walked with determination, pulling him along with me.

''Where are we going?'' Hunter asked, sounding concerned.

I ignored him, continuing my way to the place I had in mind. Seeing it when Tyler brought me home, I knew it was the perfect place to pour my heart out to Hunter.

Soon enough, we were standing at a huge window overlooking about thirty parked private planes. ''We're here'' I gulped, starting at the death machines below me.

''What are we doing here, Scar?'' Hunter tilted his head, frowning at me.

My throat closed up and I struggled to breathe properly as I stared at the planes. Hunter's hand found mine and I exhaled heavily. ''That'' I motioned to the airplanes. ''That is the reason, for all the shit going on in my head. The reason for my nightmares, my relapse, my panic attacks, my anxiety, my pain...'' I let the tears fall, ignoring his pitiful stare. ''That's the reason for their death, Hunter'' I croaked out.

''Scar-''

''No, let me talk'' I shook my head, wiping tears away quickly. ''I just want to let everything out, just this once. Then, you can decide if you want to stay and talk or leave''

''Okay'' He nodded, eyes searching mine desperately.

''I-I've...I've b-been using again'' I let out with a trembling tone, biting my lip as sobs escaped. ''I just...I can't fucking get through the day without using, Hunter. See that plane ride we took to get here? I couldn't get through it without a few pills. I had a fucking panic attack in the restroom and popped like three pills. That's the only way I can cope, Hunter. I don't know what to do! I'm so fucking lost, Hunter. I've lost my fucking sanity and nobody fucking knows!'' I howled helplessly as he wrapped his arms around my small frame. He placed his hand on the back of my head, pulling me into his chest as I cried my heart out. 

''Shhh...'' He ran his fingers through my hair, holding my trembling body as if I were a small child. ''You're going to be okay, Scar. You're not alone, you hear me? I'm going to help you. I'm going to get you out of this, alright?'' He whispered as my tears soaked his shirt.

''I can't do it'' I shook my head. ''I can't handle these emotions on my own. It's too hard. I just...I just take some pills and then I can't feel anything, you know? I don't know how to do it on my own'' I tried to explain, despite tears flowing down my cheeks freely. ''There's no point'' I cried, my voice coming out as weak and almost inaudible. ''I can't get better. Not without them...not now. Not ever, you know? I'll just never be okay''

He pulled away slightly, only to stare into my eyes. ''C'mon, Scar. You know you can do this. Hell, you can do anything. You're a frickin' Harper, right? Last I heard, Harpers were fighters'' He smiled sadly, his brown eyes boring into mine.

''We are'' I nodded, smiling through tears.

''Till the very end?'' He wiped my tears away with his thumb, pleased to see me smile again. I watched his features with interest, a storm of emotions whirling through me. How did I end up fall for him, again? Was it really meant to be? 

''Till the end'' I nodded, ignoring my thoughts.

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