Blind Ambition | ✓

20 | Doom Days, Part I

I slept until noon the morning of Halloween. It might have been later if my mom didn't slip into my room at some point, her footsteps lighter than air as she tread across my carpet and lowered herself onto the side of my bed. My back was to her, and I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath. Parents always tended to say things more truthfully when they thought they were just talking to the abyss.

"You really need a haircut," she mused softly, brushing her fingers through the curls at the back of my neck. "Your dad and I are staying in the city overnight, and we'll try and be back by tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

I exhaled. Did she know I was awake?

"I love you." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"I know," I said softly into my pillow.

She left the room with the gentle click of closing my door behind her, and I found myself hating the silence. I grabbed my headphones from my bedside table and scrolled through a Julien Baker playlist. It felt like forever ago that I first heard her in Kaia's car, but during times I needed calm, but not silence, I'd listened to her and gotten attached.

I'm telling my own fortune, something I cannot escape. I can see where this is going, but I can't find the brakes.

I lulled in and out of sleep, watching light and shadows dance across my walls as the sun set. My aching body waged a war with my head. Stay in bed. Just sleep versus No you idiot, get up. You need to get up. The worst part of it was, I didn't know which side wanted what.

It was after 5:00 when Rochelle came strolling into my room with two Nike duffle bags - one for our costumes, and one for tequila. After weeks of debate, we'd settled on Black Widow and Hawkeye, and in hindsight, the irony wasn't lost on me.

"I don't know why you couldn't have just gotten ready at your house," I grumbled as Rochelle quickly turned my bathroom into a minefield of makeup and hair products.

"Because if I left the house like this, I think my mother would send me to catholic school like...tomorrow." She spun around in her slick, skintight black leather ensemble and pointed to her chest, where her cleavage was on full display and the outline of her pierced nipples poked through the fabric.

I sputtered out a laugh. "Oh my god, when did you get those done?"

"Some of the senior girls at cheer camp wanted to get tattoos the last weekend we were there. I went for the less permanent, less likely to get caught option." The contents of her makeup bag clattered as she rifled through it. She briefly glanced over to me and huffed.

"Can you at least start getting ready? You're giving me anxiety just laying there. People will be here in like an hour."

I moaned and shifted in bed. "I need a whole five minutes to get ready. Plus I'm waiting for you to leave so I can jerk off in the shower."

Rochelle rolled her eyes, but threw me a faint smirk. "You sure that's all?"

She uncapped a tube of red lipstick, and in seemingly expert fashion swiped it across her pouted lips as she leaned over the sink. I took a few breaths before I spoke.

"Honestly...I'm exhausted." The admission came out softer than I expected it to, and I paused as she processed my words, still poking at her lips with her finger. "Would you hate me if I just stayed up here and slept?"

She scoffed. "It's your party."

"Technically it's your party, and you're just using my house since my parents are gone."