I AM A TOP

Chapter 13

Kyle's POV

Feelings only complicate staff, they turn something that was supposed to be simple into something bigger than life itself. They turn sex into something like connecting two bodies and souls, they turn just a touch, a simple touch into something electric, something you can't live without, your new addiction. Jealous out of something that you have never felt before, anger from just the thought of that person being touched by another or being hang up on another

That is what I felt when he talked about Ryan, like they were so close nothing could pull them apart, I want to be close to him like that. To be his number one thought in his head, the thought during the day and his last thought just like he is mine, I scratched my head in frustration. I used to never care about what others thought about me but I care more about what Rehan thinks about me, does he think about me like I do or does he think about Ryan the most.

I am trying to comfort myself by saying that they are just exes and they broke up for a reason but I have seen many exes getting back together even after years and that just terrifies me to the core. If they dated once it means they once were in love 'Fuckin hell' he was once his one, they would cuddle like we did, be close to each other like we were. He was once the man he was fucking, he was once the man he was thinking of marrying...... The door opened and in walked Henry with Caleb all smiles "No one resists Kyle, I guess that is true since he brought himself to you like you said he would" Caleb teased but I am in no mood for that.

"Yeah, not everyone can resist me but still not everyone can want me the way I want them" that sounded sad but I am as sad as that statement, I pulled the covers over my body as I stared at my phone screen and this is the moment I realized what I have been doing with my life, just pictures of girls and boys. On my Instagram, I only follow people I have hooked up with or those I would want to hook up with. This was my life, thinking of just fucks, how did I go from all the pretty boys, the pretty girls who would give themselves to me without a lift of a finger to wanting only one person.

Only one touch 'Fuck' I groaned turning my phone off. I don't even have his number to call him. I think I overreacted and I might have crossed a line, I should maybe trust his word that they are just friends. I got out of my bed and that is when I noticed Caleb staring at me worriedly "I am fine, at least I will be if I talk to him" I gave them a comforting smile as I made my way to the door to find the person I was about to go see "Hi" I smiled happy he came to find me

"Hi, ah I came here to apologise-"

"I should be the one apologizing, you have known him longer than me and I have no right to judge or feel jealous about it"

"Can we not talk about exes" I laughed but nodded, that will be great "Here, I need to take you somewhere"

"Let me hope it's not to murder me" I joked as I stared at the blind fold in my hand, he laughed taking it from my hands turning me around, I waved at Caleb and Henry who were now giving me confused looks and I know they don't know what is going on, I have never been with someone I hooked up with twice 'Those who were good enough I would go back' but usually after the hook up it's over but Rehan is more than just a hook up "See you guys later" I closed the door leaving them confused, I have no time to explain how this boy opened up my feelings for him. Rehan wrapped the clothe on my face tying it tighter "Whoa"

"Sorry" he apologized laughing and I know he did it on purpose "Let's go"

"Remember I can't see" I reminded holding my hand up, he took it as he started directing me through my steps, where to move and where to step. This felt nice, trusting someone to this point and not freaking out about falling but actually knowing they got you, I one part hate this feeling because I feel like I am giving Rehan the power that could break me and leave me shattered but I still feel powerful that a boy like him has my heart.