"commit a crime and the world is made of glass" - Emerson
"bae....hyesoo?" Mark asked
"she was....so pretty...too pretty. she had a happy life, a good family, always had these stupid carrot sticks in her lunch box...it was obvious her parents cared about her.....and I was jealous" she said, leaning against the wall across from him, staring into him directly to let him know that she was being serious
"my parents were...always fighting and they never cared about me at that point. they thought showering me with money was enough for a twelve year old to be happy" she said looking down at her hands
"so.....because she had everything I wish I could have had....I was.....getting defensive. and-" a long pause ensued. she didn't know if it was too late to retract her words.
"and .... what?" mark asked, inching closer to her.
"I....said some things...I never should have-things nobody should ever hear....and I made every day in that school like hell for her" she said, confessing the truth and mark sighed, catching onto the gist of the story already
"she didn't last more than two months in that school....because of me. I made her go from the bubbly and happy personality to...being sad and hiding behind others. she was that scared of me"
"and then...she just...disappeared one day. off the face of the earth. ever since then, my mind replayed every single thing that I've said to her. my parents had no idea what the true story was. I refused to tell them...so they called a doctor, apparently from some scientology group. instead of making me relive the experiences and face them, they decided to help me forget. numb down the pain and make me bury it into the ground. along with Hyesoo" she said, letting her tears fall out once more.
"that's why you've never heard about it until now...the only person who knows is Leetuk" she said
"and....he was the doctor" mark said, fitting the story together and she nodded.
"go ahead...tell me I'm-"
"you're not...whatever you were gonna say" Mark said with a sigh, moving to sit beside her rather than across from her.
"Everyone makes mistakes chaerin"
"This wasn't a mistake mark. I fucked up. I made hyesoo....kill herself....i killed her"
"Chaerin, stop it. You didn't do that...."
"I told her....this world would have been better without her-"
"You were 12 chae, we all say stupid thing-"
"And so was she....jesus i made....a girl kill herself at....the age of twelve"
"Chae-"
"Mark please.....just go"
"Chaerin come on this isn't your fault"
"It is....and I'm realising that I have to own up to it than run away from it like I was taught to.....but i keep hurting everyone around me like i'm a ticking time bomb so please, just stay away from me....at least until all this is over"
"and when is that? Are you just going to let this random person control your life. Chaerin just go to the poli-"
"No mark....just....let me deal with it please...."
"and let you go through this yourself? deal with this the way you're already dealing with it?! following random orders isn't dealing with it!"
"mark! I can't...do this! okay I can't do this right now!" Chaerin said, turning around in an attempt to walk up the stairs but mark held her back as quick as he could
"tell me how exactly you're going to deal with this" he ordered and she sighed
"it's not going to last long right? it's not like this is going to be the way things are for my whole life" she argued
"yes but this could end up ruining your whole life if you don't have a plan" mark argued back
"fine....what are you suggesting?" she asked looking at him and he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut before forcefully grabbing her face in his hands, placing his lips on top of hers making her eyes widen.
"what....was-" she mustered out as he pulled away
"fake it til you make it right?" Mark asked and she sighed, understanding what he was trying to say.
"Text Jeno....and ask him out to dinner tomorrow. 7pm" Mark whispered into her ear before stepping away from her and giving her a reassuring nod.
"I'm not letting you go through this alone okay?" he asked and she nodded, taking the phone from his grip and texting Jeno to meet her for a dinner date tomorrow at a restaurant not too far from school.
"text me tonight" Mark said, taking his jacket into his hands and walking towards the door
"and don't...do anything stupid" he said and she nodded, thanking him before leaving to her room. sighing as she fell down onto her bed, although she felt exhausted and drained, she was awake all night.
her symptoms were coming back, the constant nail biting, the skin picking, the itchy hands, the teeth clattering and most of all, the insomnia. she called Leetuk immediately and explained what was happening and he immediately came to her assistance, giving her the medicine she always used to take to make her drowsy enough to get rest.
YOU ARE READING
Enemies With Benefits | Lee Haechan
Fanfiction*currently re-editing* She was a fallen angel, and he helped her tear off her wings. A book in which Lee Haechan had fully corrupted Park Chaerin, the class president, and no one was going to stop them from continuing their secret affairs. "So what...
