𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒/𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

Another | Levi x (Gender Neutral)(SH) Reader

Prompt- Levi finds reader during SH

⚠️EXTREME TW FOR SH⚠️

Everything was going wrong, tripping in training was the usual but it's like everything had been magnified by a thousand. Your mind couldn't focus on just one emotion; sadness, humiliation, anger, embarrassment, self-loathing. All of it was a typhoon, swirling and taking out any rationality.

You slumped in the bathroom, staring at the locked door before your eyes moved down to the razor in hand. You had been clean for weeks, but now... Tears fell down your cheeks as you quietly cried, preparing yourself. Slowly, your hand moved, your fingers shifting as the blade laid on your arm, ready to destroy it. It's was over quickly, only taking moments for the blade to be pressed down and slid across the soft skin, a line of blood following. One. Your sobriety had failed, you had failed. Anger took over your mind, might as well make the most of it, your mind practically sneered at you. Another one is just below. That continued, lines being made centimeters below the last. You had started at your elbow and when you blinked again, the lines had reached your wrist. They were nearly all the same size, blood starting to collect and ooze out of them. Tears mixed with blood as you cried, mourning before moving on to the next arm. You placed the blade on the skin like your other arm, once again preparing yourself when frantic knocks came from the door.

"Y/n? Y/n! Please! Please open up. Don't do it! Please just open the door!" Levi, your once stoic captain, was behind the piece of wood. His usually bored and monotone voice was completely gone and replaced with urgent and distressed words. "Y/n! I know you're in there. Please, please open the door. Don't do anything you'll regret." At that you looked down, frowning even more at what you had done.

"Too late," you muttered, unknowing that Levi had heard you, his eyes widened and he began to pound harder on the door.

"PLEASE! Open the door! Y/n, seriously! OPEN THE DOOR!" His banging shook the door and you but you couldn't find it in yourself to be afraid. He cursed, looking around quickly before turning back to the door. "Y/n," he spoke through to you, "If you don't open this door in the next five seconds I'll have no choice but to break it down." he threatened.

Only then did fear course through you as he realized he was going to stop you. You made another cut on yourself as Levi's voice boomed, "ONE." Another. "TWO." Two more quickly. "THREE." Another. "FOUR." Another. "FIVE." No, just one more. Please. The door broke, Levi's foot following it as it landed on the ground and rushed inside. Please just one more! Too late, the razor was removed from your hand and thrown away from you. You tried to scramble after as Levi clutched your waist, holding you back.

"No! Please!" You strained to try and reach it.

"Y/n!" Levi yelled, holding you tighter as he fell back, taking you with him. "Calm down! Now!" Your body slumped, involuntarily obeying. "Shh, just calm down," he repeated with a huff.

Levi's POV

I watched them slump and began to calm down. I looked down, gasping at the sight. Deep cuts lined their inner forearm, the red bleeding together and dropping down their hand and off their fingers. Damnit. DAMNIT! I hadn't been fast enough. I'm so stupid. How could I let this happen? I quickly stood up, watching as Y/n stayed where I set them on the ground. I picked up the razor, glaring at it as I quickly rinsed it in the sink and stashed it in an inner shirt pocket.

"Any more?" I asked before they shook their head in response. "Good." I sighed as I finally let my heart slow. I look up, contemplating what to do. "Are you okay? Mentally, now, I mean."

"I-I think I should be fine," they mumbled.
Bullshit.

"Here's the plan. I'm going to patch you up. Then we're going to talk about this. Got it?" They nodded. "Good."

I grabbed bandages, washcloth, gauze, ointment, and disinfectant from a cabinet in my office down the hall, coming back to see Y/n still in the same spot as I had expected. I set the supplies down next to them as I gently pulled their arms forward, exposing the damage to me. I could feel my frown as I poured some disinfectant on a washcloth and put it on their arm. They hissed and tried to move away only for my grip to tighten a bit and they stopped, relaxing again.

"I don't want to shame you but seriously, what the fuck were you thinking?" I grumbled, moving the clothes to make sure it was entirely clean.

"I-I don't know," they whispered, looking down.

I took the cloth off, applied ointment before adding the bandages before finally wrapping their entire arm with the gauze to keep the bandages on. Once I was satisfied with my work I turned to the other arm, doing the same. When I was finished I looked up, finally making eye contact with Y/n.

"Seriously Y/n, what happened. I only suspected and that's why I came to check but... how long? Why? Does anyone else know?"

Finally, they broke down, sobbing as they told me everything. I tried to comfort them, patting their back and listening. We talked for a while, discussing almost everything that had happened.

Normal POV

Talking to Levi was surprisingly helpful, his usual behavior not showing as he was compassionate and kind. He comforted me talked about what we should do to avoid another incident. And surprisingly, it worked. Although what had I expected, this was Captain Levi and he surely didn't like to mess up.

We now had a routine of late-night chats, talking either about issues or just random things or even sometimes just sitting in silence. It was calming, his presence very reassuring. And exactly one year later we celebrated my one year free anniversary.

a/n- sorry the end is kinda rushed, it's 3 am and I suddenly felt guilty about not posting so I decided to try and finish this one up. the next paragraph is me ranting so feel free to ignore it lol

this summer been super shitty with the whole thing in July and then my grandma passed a little over a week ago, school starts Wednesday and I feel like I don't have my shit together lol. still, I really do wanna write but I also don't have the energy to do anything ya know?

what's the weirdest fact you know?
[kangaroo pouches are actually INSIDE their body, like no wall between the pouch and their bodies]

I hope all of you have been well and remember that I love and miss every single one of you<3