Just Stay

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"We need to talk," Lizzie says.

He sighs before gesturing towards the living room. He sits down but she remains standing. She paces from one side of the room to the other as she spins her wedding ring around her finger.

He knows she's trying to figure out how to start the conversation so he decides to start the ball rolling. They end up speaking at the same time.

"About last night," Bucky says.

"I need to leave," Lizzie says.

It takes a second to process what she said. Leave? Where would she go? She must be worried about what happened the night before and is trying to separate themselves for the time being.

"You don't have to stay at Steve and Peggy's. I know last night was probably confusing for both of us but we can work this out," he says.

"I'm not talking about staying at Steve and Peggy's. I'm talking about Korea," she says.

Of all the things she could possibly say, this was definitely not on his radar.

"Korea? Like the country?" Bucky asks in shock.

"Like the war," Lizzie whispers.

This has to be some kind of nightmare. His wife just told him she wants to enlist in a war.

"What would you possibly do in Korea?" He says.

"They need trauma nurses," she says.

He wants to scream and throw things but he is frozen to his seat.

"Why?" He asks in anguish.

"People need help and I can help them," Lizzie says.

Bucky finally finds his feet and stands. He wants to yell but he knows his sons are asleep a floor above them.

"You can help people here. Why do you have to go to Korea to do it?" He asks.

He knows why she wants to do it. It's why she's been working so hard. She feels so much guilt at not being able to save anyone in the future, she feels she needs to save everyone she can in the present.

"The US entered the war only a month after the twins were born. I probably would have tried to go sooner if it wasn't for them," she says.

"Last I checked, they are still around so why now?" He asks.

She looks at him with tears in her eyes.

"Jaime..." Lizzie says.

"Why now, Elizabeth?" He demands.

"We're falling apart Jaime. Don't you see? We can't even talk to each other anymore. Do you even still love me?" She asks.

He freezes at her question. Could she really think he could ever stop loving her? He thinks back to the last couple months and realizes that a lot of his actions don't seem like that of a man in love.

He avoids her, doesn't sleep in the same bed as her, and the one night he spends with her, he leaves her in bed alone like a cheap one night stand. He feels like a failure of a husband in that moment. He feels like a failure of a man.

"Of course I love you, Ellie. I will always love you. We can work this out," he begs.

"Can we? We've had months to fix this but we just can't. Maybe if I leave, we can work some things out on our own," she says.

She has been feeling constant guilt for months. Maybe she might be able to find some peace in Korea. It sounds ironic that a war zone may bring her peace but helping physically save people may help her wash some of the blood off her hands.

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