my light, my misery, my tainted blue.
↳ I didn't mean to break your heart.
• • • • • •
where a girl in fear of being alone meets a boy who's fear is companionship.
2# - grieving
1# - summertoremember
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A month and I'm on top of the moon. The thoughts have gone quieter, some days I think they're mute.
You take me places I've never been before, which takes me by surprise because I'm the one who's lived here most their life. I don't complain, when you lead the way.
But your teasing me, which is tearing me apart. Do you like me, or do you not?
We don't mention that week at my house, or how I hid you in my bathroom before mom kissed me goodnight. We don't mention, how we sneaked out onto the porch to watch the skies, laying side by side. We don't discuss when you rested your hand on mine, and instantly I'd gotten butterflies.
I don't mention any of that, because I don't think you'd want me to. But sometimes it's general knowledge that hurts the most.
The blinding sun glides over my skin, unable to contain my disdain for the sharpness of the light, I make a figment of a lie, and when you turn your face, I pick at your bucket hat and place it on my head.
"My very own Lilac, a thief?" When you face me once again I can't help but share a quick wide smile. The things you've got me to feel these past few weeks have been sublime. I want to thank you every day for keeping me anchored to bay.
"A thief won't cut it Blue, I'm no short of a genius!"
"That's not genius behavior."
"Who are you to judge. You said you didn't like company, but you keep me around."
"That's different," what I thought at first forest is now dimly green, your pupil swallowing the pigmentation as your eyes fall on mine.
"How so?" I question, getting up on my knees, wanting to be your height, I shuffle closer, the soft grass faintly grazing against my knees.
You lean in, only an inch and suddenly my eyes are etched to your blush plump lips, your tongue darts out wetting them and I swear this is the cruelest form of torture. "I think we both know." I scoff when you descend leaning back against the tree, lips turned upwards into a smirk, obviously teasing me.
"You frustrate me Blue, you give mixed signals, that's got me confused all about you!"
"Tell me, what are you going to do about it?" You tilt your head to the side.
Heart racing, irrational thoughts take claim of my mind. So I lean in and close the space between me and you. You don't pull away, so I take it as a sign, moving in closer to straddle your thighs.
Slowly fire ignites at the pit of my stomach, your hands roam all over me, resolve for my waist. I groan in pleasure when you're arms settle me back onto the soft ground. My hands running through your silky hair, I'd observed from afar.
And then I'm sighing in disbelief when your lips latch off my own and onto my neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses that's got my stomach falling into oblivion.
"Blue," I whimper, desiring for relief.
"Yeah. My Lilac," you're raspy voice sounds even more desirable muffled in my neck.
"Don't ever stop," I tug up at your hair, so your eyes meet mine and they shine looking drunk on our shared high.
