Lilac's Lies

38

July 23 2019

I was hot. Too hot, and not in a good way. I could feel the strands of my hair matted against my forehead, sticking to the skin like magnets on a fridge.

I opened my eyes, immediately finding the source of the heat. Jesse was lying almost completely on top of me, his hands wrapped tightly around my waist. I could barely move an inch if I tried to, the way he was gripping me. He was gripping me like he was scared I was going to sneak away in the dead of the night while he was sleeping.

I started to wiggle my body, trying to create space between us. Jesse didn't seem bothered by the heat our bodies together were creating, he didn't seem to be bothered by anything at all. His face looked peaceful as he slept, a small smile on his lips. His eyes opened as I continued moving, and when he saw what I was trying to do, his smile fell.

"Where are you going?" He muttered, not removing his arms from my waist.

"It's too hot, I need space," I told him blankly. I place my hands over his, trying to get him to release me from the cage he had created around me.

"Babe, come on," Jesse only pulled me closer towards him, he angled his neck upwards, no doubt aiming his lips for mine. "You didn't even let me hit it last night."

"What?" I shoved him, shaking my head. "Why would I? How can you even be in the mood?"

"Seriously, Lilly?" Jesse pulled his face away, his eyes narrowing. He let go of my body, allowing me to move away completely. I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the air cool the skin that had been pressed against his.

"Yes, seriously," I told him, adjusting my clothes which had been moved across my body.

"It was just a prank, Lilly, you don't have to be such a goody two shoes about it. You do this every time. Every time I try to have a little fun you ruin it, like the little annoying bitch you are." Jesse spat at me, and he heaved his body out of the bed.

I took a deep breath, trying not to let his cruel words affect me. "I just don't think it was a good idea, what if someone gets hurt?"

"Who cares?" Jesse breathed out, clearly not bothered.

"I care. You should care," I fired back, "see, this is my problem. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

"That's not true, I care about you," Jesse turned to face me, his face shaped into a carefully molded look of fake love.

"No. You know what, no. I don't think you do care about me. I don't think you care about me at all," I told him, and I couldn't help but raise my voice slightly. "I'm getting sick of this Jesse."

"What's that supposed to mean, Lilly?" Jesse yelled back at me. The tone of his voice made me freeze completely, I knew that tone. It was a dangerous one.

I took another deep breath, desperately trying not to let him see me affected. "It means I'm not sure if we should stay together."

Jesse moved his head backwards, like my words had physically pushed him. His eyebrows scrunched together as he seemingly thought about my words. "Where the fuck is this coming from?"

"I just told you, Jesse! You never listen to me. You never hear what I'm saying. You don't care about how I feel, you only care about how you feel. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm breaking up with you."

"No, you're not," Jesse said immediately, dismissing me.

"Yes, I am," I croaked out, my voice cracking as my eyes started to fill with tears.

"You want to break up because of a stupid prank?" Jesse asked me, his voice surprisingly calm. He walked over to me, and I had to stop myself from running in the opposite direction.

"No. Yes. No, not just because of the prank, because I begged you not to do it, but you didn't care." I told him, biting on my bottom lip to stop myself from sobbing.

"Listen, babe," Jesse said sternly. He placed his hand on my arm, gripping it with force. His other hand snaked onto the back of my neck, pinching the skin painfully, he pulled me in close to him, his face only inches from mine. "I'm not doing this today. We're going over to Khalil's later, we're supposed to go camping, remember? You're not ruining this just because you're having a hissy fit."

Jesse used his strength to push me away when he was done speaking, causing me to fly back, hitting the dresser against his wall. I gasped at the stinging pain, tears free-falling from my face with speed.

"No, Jesse, I'm not going." I tried to be strong, it was hard because the words were escaping my mouth like a cry for help. "I'm not going camping with you. I'm done."

Jesse looked at me, he didn't say anything. His jaw was tensed, the muscles bulging on the side of his face. His eyes were dark as he observed me, and I could tell by the way he was breathing what was going to happen next. I guessed right, it seemed, as he drew his fisted hand back, preparing to strike me.

I closed my eyes, bringing my hands up to cover my face. I was waiting for the pain, but it didn't come. Jesse's phone rang instead, and he seemed to value whoever was calling more than punching me.

"Brett?" Jesse answered, and I opened my eyes to watch him. His face scrunched in confusion as he listened to whatever Brett was telling him, muttering agreements until he threw his phone on the ground in anger.

"Fuck!" Jesse yelled, before he spun around and drove his fist into his painted blue walls. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"What?" I asked him, looking at the hole in the drywall that his fist was now buried in. I was just thankful it wasn't my face. "What happened?"

Jesse closed his eyes as he pulled his fist from the wall, bringing both of his hands up to his head. He rubbed his temples, continuing to curse to himself.

"There was an accident last night on the lake," Jesse finally told me. He looked up at me, his cold eyes meeting mine. "Brett's dad is investigating it. Someone died Lilly. Someone is dead. They hit the rocks."

My mouth opened as his said the words, though I don't know why, I had nothing to say. I was stuck in a paralyzingly cold fear.

"We did this Lilly, we killed someone."