Like the Moon [H.S]

Chapter eight

Playlist: Vivica - Jack Off Jill.

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My pretty face is going to hell.

That girl is never coming back.

The universe is not trying to break me, it's trying to wake me up and realize how fucked up my life was, how everything in my life was such a mess. It wakes me up to see what is real and worth fighting for.

It took me 19 years to come up to this conclusion. This is the beginning of loving myself. My past made me who I'm today. It all happened to help me understand what's important and what isn't. I spent all my life pleasing everyone and now I'm done with that.

Enough.

I want to care about myself to understand what I'm worth and what I'm capable of. It's time to be proud of myself, to do everything I can set my mind to.

Everything that I have been through prepared me to become who I want to be.

I have to remember that I'm a warrior and warriors don't give up

A broken girl who blossoms when she is fighting.

I'm standing in the stall at the bus station. I don't know where I am right now. I am so lost in my thoughts that I don't even care about this. I have only one destination and I'm so close to that place.

I look at myself in the mirror.

My face is pale because of the lack of sleep, terrible dark circles under my eyes. My hair is unkempt because of rain, dry skin. Previously pink lips became bleached as well. Everything in my appearance begs me for some rest and a good shower.

But my eyes can tell another story.

They have changed. They are burning, desperate for what's going to come.

They are shining even from the smallest thought of things I have to experience in the near future.

My previous light as the sky blue eyes became deep blue. From a distance, they seem black. Like the ocean during the strongest storm. Waiting for lightning to strike and stun everything with the bright flash and a loud sound wave. Wait for everything to be swept by the water. They are aching for freedom and they are about to receive it. My storm has just begun and I can't wait to be drowned in it.

I decided to start everything from the beginning. I've bought a new phone, so my parents couldn't track my old one and of course, I've changed my number.

I have 5 more minutes before we leave the station, so I decided to call one of my dearests.

Francesco.

I don't know what I'm going to say to him, but I feel like he can calm me down and understand me as well.

After five long phone beeps, he finally answered the phone.

''Hi.'' It's all I could manage to say to him.

Silence.

Long silence.

''Who are you calling, darling?'' He was probably asleep because his voice was so deep and sleepy. But he still managed to be polite.

''Oh, come on, I knew you didn't love me. How dare you not recognize my voice. You broke my heart, I'm disappointed!'' I acted as if I was offended, after my speech he should recognize me.

I can hear a small relieved laugh on the other side of the phone.

''Why are you calling me so late? Couldn't resist the temptation of hearing my voice while you are pleasing yourself, huh? He said in a cheeky tone and I can easily feel the grin on his face. Little dirty bastard.

''Put your dirty mind aside, Babybo-'' I couldn't finish my thought as I was interrupted.

''By the way, tesoro, why are you calling me from the unknown number, where are you?'' I can hear the worry in his voice.

He always treated me like his younger sister. He brought me back from my lowest mental state and always tried to make my life easier and happier. I could ask him for any advice when I couldn't ask my parents and I can say it happened quite often. Sure, he used his dirty mind to tease me but that's it, nothing more. I feel safe when I'm around him and hearing his voice full of worry makes me feel awful.

I can't describe the type of our relationship, but it's something that I was so desperate to have in my life. This is a connection that cannot be broken. He is my older brother who I've never had.

I'll miss him.

''It's a weird situation, but I'm not going to stay in Chicago anymore...'' My voice was quiet.

''Is everything okay? Tell me what happened.'' His voice was serious. It's like he forgot that I woke him up because now his voice was more vivid.

''I can't explain what has happened, but as soon as I'm ready I'll tell you everything,'' I answered him, carefully omitting the part of me killing Nick and burning his body.

''Just the situation with parents became very difficult and I can't take it anymore.'' I continued.

''I can suppose no one knows about you leaving the city, right?' It sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

''Yeah, and I want it to be that way.'' I was implying to him not to say anything to anyone.

I don't know what is the purpose of this call but I wanted to hear his calming voice.

''I got it, where are you going?'' He sighed when he finished his sentence.

''Where would a girl who's obsessed with the casino go? Of course, Las Vegas.'' In my voice, there were notes of sarcasm and joy.

I didn't want to but smiled.

''If you need anything, just call me and I will help you.'' He said softly.

Here he is a caring big brother.

''I know, I'll call you from time to time, so you won't get rid of me that easy.''

I made him laugh by pretending to be his obsessed ex.

It's actually a funny story he had told me earlier. He had received hundreds of messages and calls from his ex, so he had to change his number a few times.

''Be careful...'' He said in a very serious way.

Two words but they are full of care, love, and worry.

''I will Francesco, I will,'' I said and hung up.

I couldn't hold up on my tears. It was so hard to say goodbye, so I just hung up.

I still have to say something to Charlotte, but not now, I'm not ready for this conversation. I couldn't hide anything from her. It's better to wait. I hope she will understand.

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I'm so excited about what's going to happen!

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