i believed in you || rini au

18. okay

nini sat on her bed as her speaker played her music quietly, tissues scattered around her bed while the comforter was over her knees that she brought to her chest, leaning her notebook against them.

she felt a pain through her eyes at the fact that she cried all night without being able to sleep, she hated the feeling. the pit in her stomach and an empty feeling in her heart. she missed him.

nini blinked a few times as she sniffled, trying to not let herself cry again as she stared at the blank pages of her book.

she adjusted the hold on her pen, bringing the tip to the page as she tried to write something, but she couldn't yet...it was too hard to acknowledge it. to face the fact that her and ricky were over.

he said he would try whatever it took, nini wanted to believe him, but she didn't know how too. after four years of repeating the same pattern over and over again, she couldn't let herself hold out hope when it's always crushed in the end.

the sound of the doorbell ring made her look up for a few seconds, not wanting to get up or have to face the reality of telling her friends yet.

the doorbell ring again, this time followed by non-stop knocking, nini sighing as she finally got up from her bed and rushed towards the door

"i'm coming, i'm coming!" nini exclaimed breathlessly, fiddling with the lock as she opened the door and saw her friends for the split second before they rushed inside

"what happened?"
"do you need food?"
"well, we brought some in case-"
"what kind of emergency is it?"

nini folded her arms "i-i don't want to talk about it yet. i already told you guys."

"okay," gina sighed as she took ahold of the brunette's arm and guided her as well as the group to the living room "what happened?"

"spill, now." carlos demanded as they all sat down

nini looked down at her lap and felt her eyes sting, taking a shaky breath "h-ricky's-been spending a lot of time with-"

"edna," seb nodded, everyone looking at him in confusion "what? it's easier for me to hate her when she doesn't have a pretty name."

"okay..." ashlyn trailed off before they returned their focus to nini "he's been spending a lot of time with...edna."

nini sighed "a-and-he hasn't-done anything wrong. but-it's just, he hasn't been doing anything either." she squeaked "w-we're supposed to try and figure out how to go public with our relationship, but lately it's been like he's wanted to keep it a secret and i couldn't do that anymore. i can't be just some secret love song to him where i have to steal moments with him while he's showing the world he's in love with someone else."

"nini..." carlos frowned "you know that the moments with you are the real ones."

nini shuddered a breath and looked down "it's too hard. it shouldn't be this hard. we-we're supposed to be at a stage where we're thinking of stepping forward together, but it's always been one step forward and three steps back and we end up at the same place." she cried, feeling a few tears fall down her face

"nini, what happened?" seb asked, knowing the answer but too worried to believe it for her.

nini sniffled "w-we broke up."

the group all looked at her, their face softened with frowns and gina putting her arm around her best friend comfortingly

"i had to do it." she whispered weakly "he-he needs to figure out how to deal with everything. i know that this was just added pressure-"

"it's okay-"

"no it's not." nini exclaimed as she felt a tear fall down "nothing about this is okay."

ashlyn, carlos, seb and gina all sat around her as they pulled her in for a hug, nini letting herself cry in their embrace as they tried comforting her in the best way they could.

she didn't know how to be okay.