Ciel [Yoonmin]

15.

"Did you enjoy shopping?" Taehyung asked with a smile on his face.

Jimin returned the smile and nodded. He was currently in bed naked with Taehyung after finishing their sexual experience. The only thing on top of them was a thin velvet blanket.

"I did. I enjoyed every bit of it. I got a lot of yellow stuff."

"Good. I'm glad you liked it."

Jimin was resting his chin on his chest and had one arm wrapped around him. He wasn't going to lie, the first time he had sex with Taehyung it had been incredible. The things that man was capable of were indescribable.

His praising, his voice, and his everything was just mind blowing. Today, however, he didn't enjoy any of it. His mind was lost in the image of Yuta with that man.

Yuta looked so happy without him and that was a hard pill to swallow. Every time he tried to push past it, the memory flooded his mind.

Seeing them hadn't left his psyche for a second. Having sex while being heartbroken and sad was incredibly gut-wrenching.

There was no pleasure. There was no true arousal. He had to basically force himself to enjoy it and fake it all because he felt so numb.

So empty.

Jimin wanted the life he used to have. He wanted a life with Yuta. A happy ending with him. This wasn't his happy ending. No money, gifts, or sex would compare to what he once had with him.

It was too late. He wouldn't get his life back. There was no going back in time. The cruel reality was that he couldn't stop himself from making that mistake that drove them apart.

Feeling this way reminded him of that day Jeongyeon brought in a new guy. He remembered the day like it was yesterday.

"Have you ever done it?"

"What?" Jimin asked as he looked at the timid boy with blonde hair. He was fidgeting with his fingers nervously as he waited to go out on the dance floor.

"This...sleeping with men I mean."

"I've done it for months. It gets easier with time."

He looked up with fear in his eyes, "I've only ever been with one person."

Jimin suddenly felt so connected with him. He saw himself in the young naive boy. "Me too. I mean before I actually started to..."

His voice trailed off not being able to finish. It repulsed him to know that this boy would follow his steps.

"Maybe this isn't for you." He finally said.

"I need the money. It's easy money."

"Hmm. Easy money isn't always obtained so easily. If you do this you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and live with that decision. You have to be able to look at yourself and not regret it. Can you do that?"

"What's the matter? You've been acting a little different." Taehyung said interrupting his deeper thoughts.

"I'm just tired. Yoongi has been waking me up at eight am every morning. He's trying to get me in a stupid routine." He forced a laugh and Taehyung chuckled.

"Yeah, Yoongi is a time freak."

Jimin laid his head on Taehyung's chest and stared at the wall. His mind went blank again. If someone would've told him that same advice he gave to that boy then maybe he wouldn't be here. He would still be with his true love.