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                Baddies of the BAU

Hotch: Alright who did it

Emily: im not even at work yet 🥺☝🏻 so probably not me <3

Y/n: thats sounds a lil sus..

Derek: IT DEFINITELY WAS HER WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING WHO ELSE WOULD COVER SCISSORS IN KETCHUP AND LEAVE THEM ON MY DESK? ITS A THREAT🤬🤬🤬🤬🤡  FIRE HER RN

Emily: OH NOW WHOS TRYING TO GET WHO FIRED YOU AND YOUR BIG ASS PENNYWISE FOREHEAD GOT MEGAMIND SHIVERING IN HIS BOOTS AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR HUGE BRAINLESS HEAD JELLYBEAN HEADASS DO NOT TALK TO ME SMALL DICK ENERGY FROM YOU CONSTANTLY BALD ASS SHINY HEAD GOT ME BLIND WHEN I LOOK AT IT TF

Derek: i..

JJ: em.. oh my GOD?

Rossi: alright kids cmon don't fight

Hotch: ^ Both of you knock it off

Emily: HE STARTED IT??

Derek: YOU PUT KETCHUP COVERED SCISSORS ON M Y DESK🤔🤔🤔 WHO REALLY STARTED IT.

Y/n: times like this I'm glad Rossi got us a popcorn machine 🍿 🤗

Reid: I like popcorn! 👾

Garcia: I just checked my phone and oh my.. :0 the violence em do you want some cookies?

Emily: OO YES PLEASE!! I no longer choose hate, I choose love. I love today <<33

Derek: girl... you need to be medicated 😟😟 please

JJ: Emmy do you want a coffee?

Emily: Mhm!

Y/n: not yall sucking up out of fear💀💀 bestie is TOO powerful

Emily: period💅🏻💅🏻 put the fear into people and they'll do anything for you

Hotch: That's literally manipulation

Derek: YOU THREATENED TO MANIPULATION ME???? 🤔🤔 HYPOCRITE

Hotch: You literally deserve it :/

Emily: PFF ^ HES RIGHT 😭😭

Reid: "Manipulation me" Derek you're a grown man.. use proper grammar.

Y/n: Go off??

Derek: WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?? HMM??? SMARTIE PRETTY BOY FUCK YOU SHUT UP👹👹👹

Y/n: Aye don't talk to him like that ✋

Hotch: Manipulate is a word you know.

Derek: oh

Emily: DUMBASS??💀

Y/n: battle of the fruits

Garcia: NOO OMG 😭😭 PLZ

Reid: 🍒🍓🫐🥝🥭🍍🍌🍅🍎🍏

Derek: The tomato 💀

Reid: It's a fruit.

Derek: IN MY WORLD IT ISNT. IDC ABOUT SCIENCE THAT SHIT IS NOT A FRUIT 👹👹👹👹

Emily: ^ can't believe I'm agreeing with him rn

Derek: ^ THATS HOW YOU KNOW IM RIGHT

Reid: Dumb and dumber.

Hotch: Reid..💀

Emily: SPENCE?? IM OFFENDED RN OMG 😵

JJ: He's having nutella withdrawals so he's angy

Reid: Shush. >:(

Y/n: "angy" homeboy literally is the human equivalent of this: 😠 emoji rn, hotch 2.0 rn got me fucked up

Emily: PLEASE THAT EMOJI IS HOTCHS TWIN

Hotch: No

Emily: 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

Hotch: It's simply resting bitch face and trauma👍

Derek: PLEASE 💀💀

Rossi: popcorn is ready!

Hotch: it's 7 in the morning?

Emily: And?

Y/n: OOO OMW SHES A RUNNER SHES A TRACKSTAR 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Derek: THEY FUCKING TRIPPED IM DEAD😭😭😭

Y/n: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR FACE HOLE UP

Emily: babes..💀💅🏻 plz EVEN HOTCH IS LAUGHING THATS HOW YOU KNOW IT WAS FUNNY

Hotch: listen okay..

Y/n: BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE WHAT 😟😟

Reid: Leave my girlfriend alone. :(

Derek: NO IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY 🥺

JJ: y/n are you alright lmao

Y/n: EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED. 🤬

Emily: YOURE TOO FUNNY STOP BEHEJEJ 😭😭😭💅🏻

Rossi: do you want a lollipop kiddo?

Y/n: YOOO MAMA ROSSI SAY LESSSS 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Derek: don't trip again

Y/n: GO GET INTO ANOTHER CAR CRASH STRAIGHTIE WANNABE🖕🖕

Hotch: Please don't you stress me out enough

Derek: wtf why is snakey Strauss here 🤨🤨

Hotch: oh God put your phones away so he doesn't see chat 🙄

Y/n: 💀💀 I'm in rossis office so no she comes in here and its K.O for her

Emily: if she looks over my shoulder I'm decking her

Emily: HOTCH THIS YOUR CHANCE TO FIST FIGHT HER ONE SHOT HER ASS DO THE WORLD A FAVOR

Derek: ..

Emily: Shes looking over my shoulder isn't she?

Hotch: ...

Emily: fuck

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