Ghosts Of The Past [BoyxBoy] ✓

29. Exhausted

Aron's packed all the bags and we're ready to get the hell out of here. The entire time I was able to smile and put on a good act but I feel my mask slipping as my thoughts haunt me no matter how hard I try to push them away.

Being here just makes me feel like I could run into Neil at any moment. I'm ready to leave.

I'm miserable. I thought it was over. I thought I was free of his fucking hold but I'm still terrified. I'm still running from him. My body aches and I feel like I could faint any moment. 

"Everything okay, baby?" I flinch as Aron holds the back of my neck. 

I shrug him off. "Yeah, fine. Let's just go." I say quickly, walking to the car. 

We're driving through the town and I lay my head against the window. I feel like I could throw up any minute. 

"What's wrong?" He asks earnestly. 

It just angers me. It's embarrassing. We came all the way here for nothing. I had sex with the person I love the most and it was terrible. Not because we don't match but because of my own mistakes and stupidity. If I'd just stayed in LA a little longer. Dealt with things... maybe it wouldn't be this way. 

"Nothing." I say curtly. 

"Obviously I can tell something's bothering you." He says. 

I don't reply. I'm so angry at myself. And disappointed. 

"Sky.." Aron squeezes my shoulder. 

I completely freak out and slap his hand away. 

"Just don't touch me, okay?!" I scream. 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I shouldn't have done that. 

"I'm sorry." I say softly, keeping my eyes on the road. I feel my hands tremble. I fold them together. I'm so ashamed. I'm sure he knows now.

Aron's quiet for a while. I don't want to look at him. I can't.

"It didn't work, did it?" He sounds exhausted and sad. 

Tired of me. 

I turn on the radio and turn to the window. 

Neither of us says a word after that. 

***

We're 10 hours into the drive now but neither of us has slept yet. Neither of us can, even though we're completely exhausted. 

I'm driving now. A little faster than is allowed here but I don't care. I just wanna get home. Go to bed and hide. 

Aron has smoked an entire pack these past few hours. I'm worried about him. 

"Can we stop here?" He asks, his voice low and monotone. 

I pull over at a convenience store. 

He opens the car. 

"You're gonna buy more cigarettes? You're gonna kill yourself."

He sighs. "That doesn't sound so bad." He says dead serious. 

I look away as my heart stings in pain. Why would he say that? 

"Sorry." He says quickly. 

We both stare anywhere but at each other. 

He gets out of the car and opens my door. 

"Come on, you need to eat." 

We walk through the clinically white convenience store. I'm not hungry at all but if I say that he's just gonna call me anorexic again. I sigh. 

He grabs three packs of premium cigarettes. 

"Aron," I protest. 

He ignores me and walks further down the isle. 

I stand there feeling terrible. It's my fault he feels this bad. I keep hurting everyone around me. It doesn't matter what I do. All I do is hurt. 

My phone buzzes.

Six missed calls from Loren. 

Why the hell is she calling me? 

I'm about to call her back.

"Sky, let's eat." Aron calls. 

I shove my phone into my pocket and follow him to the little cafe area. 

The food is fucking disgusting according to Aron but it doesn't matter. I wouldn't have tasted it even if it was five star food. Everything tastes bland. 

Neither of us says a word anymore. It's like we were connected to each other and now we're cut off. 

I tap my ring against the cup of coffee I ordered. 

And I think about Neil. The cups I made. What happened after. 

I get completely nauseous. I cover my mouth and run to the bathroom. 

***

We're back in LA. Almost home. Just driving the last few minutes. I can't wait to be out of this car. We've been silent for the entire drive now. It's painful. 

I pick up my phone and scroll randomly, barely even paying attention to what's on my screen when it starts to ring. 

It's Loren. Again. 

I pick up with lot more force than I meant to. 

"Why the hell do you keep calling me?" I scream. I know I shouldn't yell at her. I'm taking all my emotions out on her and it's not fair. I suck. 

"You have to get to the hospital right now! It's Chase!" She sounds like she's in tears. 

My anger fades and is replaced by fear. 

"What about chase?" 

Aron looks at me. 

"Just get over here!" She hangs up the phone.

I'm stunned for a moment. She sounded terrified. 

"We have to get to the hospital." I tell Aron. 

He sighs but drives into the direction. 

***

I run out of the car and spot Loren at the entrance. Shes's sitting on a bench, crying. Aron follows slowly behind me.

"What the hell happened?"

As she sees me she stops crying and her eyes turn to anger. 

She gets up and pushes me hard. 

"What did you do to him?! What did you do!" She screams. 

"What are you talking about? What happened?" I push. 

Fresh tears stream over her face. 

"Chase.. tried to commit suicide."