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July 30th, 2021

I talked to my dad today. I had therapy this morning and she encouraged me to reach out to him, see how he is, make myself feel better and not like a shit daughter. Guess I'm still kind of shit though for doing it for me and not him. Oh well.

This bit of the story is still a bit of a blur to me, I was stuck between dreaming and awake all the time and I cant quite remember was was real or not still, so I phoned a friend in for this trip down memory lane. Harry helped me remember this part, and thank god for that.

What would I have ever done without him?

Jo.

Harry

My hands shook as I approached the front door of the small house tucked into the quiet street. The paint on the siding was chipped and sun-bleached, it matched the furniture on the porch.

The steps were slightly warped as I walked up them and stood with my feet on the faded welcome mat. I stood alone, no security guards, no management, no assistance. Just me, shaking hands and a heartbeat pounding in my ears.

As I brought my fist to the door to knock three times, I remembered the events of the last 24 hours.

I'd been in a meeting, discussing safety precautions and rooming arrangements for the North American leg of the tour, when my phone rang.

I typically keep it on silent, especially for meetings, but I hadn't heard from Jo in so long that I refused to miss her if she called. My phone stayed on full volume.

The shrill ringing interrupted Jeff as he spoke and my hands flew to the device, willing her name to light up my screen. When I saw Frankie's name my heart sank.

"Frankie, what's wrong, what's happened?" I was speaking quickly, in a hurry to find out what was happening.

"We've never seen her like this, Harry. I don't know what to do. It's bad, Harry. It's really, really bad and I'm- I'm scared she might hurt herself."

I thought I was going to be sick. My stomach twisted and clenched as my heart caught in my throat, threatening to end me. I could hear the tears in his eyes forming in his words. He was scared and I was terrified.

I didn't have any logical thoughts other than the need to get to her as quickly as possible. I didn't how the fuck I was going to be able to help, but I knew I'd try.

"I'll be on the next flight out. Fuck, I'm in London, but I'll be there as soon as I can." My mind was racing, panic spread through my chest and it became hard to catch a full breath.

"Get me a plane! Jeffrey! I need a plane, right now!" I knew it was irrational but I didn't care. What was the point of being famous if I couldn't abuse that power once in a while? I needed a fucking plane.

Jeffrey looked at me like I was insane but when I met his eyes he understood the severity of the situation and immediately got to work on his phone. I tipped my head in apology at the security exec we had in our meeting and I took off out of the room. I needed to pack. I needed to go. I needed to get there faster. "I'll go right now, I'm going. I'll be there."

"Are you running?" He asked, and I realized that I was. I was running down the street, toward the car that was waiting for us.

"Yes. I was in a meeting, but I'm not anymore. I'll be in the air within 3 hours, I'll make sure of it. Take care of my girl until I get there, please. I'll be there as fast as that plane with fucking fly." I was throwing the door open and flinging myself into the backseat. I slapped the passenger headrest a few times and pointed at the GPS on the dash waiting to take me back to my house.

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