Rogue Wars Online

Chapter Fifty-Three: The Girl Whose Sin is Envy

sorry po ulit.

-chapter fifty-three-

FINN

Sometimes, I wonder. What would life be if I didn't leave the house that afternoon?

Kakalabas ko lang ng kwarto noon at bababa sana para uminom ng tubig, nang marinig ang boses nina Tita Geneva at Tita Layla sa kusina. They were talking in hushed voices, and I hid myself in the wall, listening to their conversation. Alam kong masama pero narinig ko kasing sinambit nila ang pangalan ko.

I hope God would forgive me for eavesdropping. Maybe Mama and Papa could talk to Him.

"Nagaalala lang ako, Gen." boses ni Tita Layla. "Finley is already timid when Alyanna and Finnian were still alive. Natatakot ako kasi mula nang mamatay si Gabriel, she's locking herself in her room."

The death of Gabriel visited my memory once again. Naibaba ko ang tingin at napakuyom sa maliliit na kamao nang maalala ang huling sinabi niya. Protect those important to us and especially his little brother so I could stop blaming myself.

When I should.

Because I was the reason why Gavin's brother died.

"Kami nga rin ay nagaalala." bumuntong-hininga si Tita Geneva. "We know and understand what happened. Finley is only recovering... from the death of her parents. Besides, Gabi was already an adult. It was his decision to save her."

No. It was my fault. If I wasn't such a helpless child, then I could have prevented death from coming again.

Paupo akong bumaba sa sahig at itinago ang mukha sa tuhod. I feel like I'm cursed, for the people who were sent to me as angels died for my sake. If death wanted me so much, why didn't they just give me?

Sana... masaya pa silang lahat ngayon.

"In his days at the hospital, alam kong pilit ring sinasabi ni Gabriel 'yon. Kaya nga siguro ang huling bilin niya kay Finn ay protektahan ang mga taong malapit sa kaniya. If she can't really help but blame herself, then it's how she pays her assumed debt."

"It's not like death is new to us all, lalo na sa trabaho ni Gabi, pero... masakit pa rin."

My heart ached when I felt the overwhelming sadness and longing in Tita Geneva's voice. Of course, I was the reason her eldest son died, so she would really be in pain. I inflicted that pain on her. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi para pigilan ang humikbi at mas lalong pinaliit ang sarili.

"I hope Finn can see us... or Gavin. Don't get tired of telling her that it's not her fault, Layla. I'm worried for her and Gavin, lalo na't sa side ng anak ko ay parang nawalan siya ng dalawang malapit na tao..."

Hindi na ako nakinig pa sa pinag-uusapan nila nang marinig ang pangalan namin ni Gavin. I left the house, running towards the nearest park. The afternoon sun was warm on my skin, the almost-golden rays hitting the swings and slides. There were a couple of boys playing soccer on the trimmed grass while a group of girls was busy chatting in the playhouse.

Natigilan ako nang makita si Renée doon. She was smiling while talking to a brunette, twirling her braids and occasionally laughing. Nang iikot sana siya sa banda ko ay mabilis akong nagtago sa ilalim ng isang slide.