Baddies of the BAU
Hotch: guys you can't do that
Emily: Strauss the snake deserved it 😍😍
Derek: AND IT WAS FUNNY HOTCH WHO CARES 😭👹👹
JJ: 💀💀
Hotch: Yeah but i like my job
Garcia: What happened? :0
Rossi: someone put superglue on Strauss' coffee cup ☕
Garcia: ..okay thats funny I can't lie
JJ: ^ IT WAS HILARIOUS
Emily: SHE FUCKING TOOK MY GIANT SCISSORS OFF MY DESK IF SHE WANTS STICKY FINGERS I GAVE HER STICKY FINGERS FAIR AND SQUARE😪😪 SHE SHOULDN'T TOUCH MY SHIT ✋🏻
Derek: Now she'll never need to wonder where her cup went either 🥶🥶🥶
JJ: IM SORRY HER TRYING TO SHAKE THE CUP OFF AND IT JUST HANGING ONTO HER OPEN HAND WAS TOO FUNNY I CANNOT💀
Hotch: it was absolutely hilarious however she's livid with me
Emily: just call her homophobic hotchiepoo 🤨✋🏻✋🏻
JJ: ^ always works
Derek: she needs to just leave us alone then we won't bully her LMAO🕺🏾🕺🏾💋
Reid: Why is there raw meat on my desk?
Y/n: Ayo??😭🤨😦 what-
Hotch: Reid what
Reid: There's a raw steak on my desk?
Derek: Damn don't be beating your meat 🤤🤤
Hotch: You're so nasty 👍
Reid: Derek was it you?
Rossi: Oh that's where my steak went. Sorry kiddo
Garcia: .. what the fuck..?:0
JJ: uh what??
Y/n: .. Rossi man what the hell💀 come get your meat off my boys desk
Derek: .. I'm sorry 😭😭 don't ever say that again.. or do..🥵
Emily: Derek shut up 🤨💃🏻💃🏻 GAH DAMN 😬😬
Hotch: Wait why do you have raw meat here anyways..? Dave I'm concerned
Derek: Dementia🥵🥵
Reid: not funny
Emily: You're right, its hilarious 😭😭👍🏻
Y/n: FOUL😭💀
Rossi: I brought in a mini grill
Hotch: YOU CANT DO THAT??
Derek: Damn if this place goes up in flames imma start running through the flames bc I'm built diff 🤑🤯🤯
Y/n: what is wrong with you.. no seriously I'm genuinely asking
Emily: ^ THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING 😨😨 HE SCARES ME
Hotch: Morgan please don't
Derek: I'll kiss you again shut up
Hotch: dont come near me ever again !😃👍
Emily: We've never discussed why that happened??? 🤨🤨
Derek: bc I'm sexy ofc🕺🏾🕺🏾
Y/n: why do I doubt that thats the reason?🤧
Hotch: Literally did it so he'd stop verbally harassing me, and it worked
Derek: THAT IS MANIPULATION 😨😨
Hotch: you deserve to be manipulated 👍
Y/n: IM YELLING OMG R.I.P💀💀
Emily: hotchie boy don't say it like that 😃✋🏻
Derek: HOMOPHOBIA 👨🏾💻👨🏾💻
Rossi: how is that possible
Rossi: Homophobic homo??
Y/n: Rossi stop talking rn
JJ: ^
Emily: sexy wifey ily 😍 💖
JJ: ily2
Reid: I am so confused on what is going on? Whys the meat still on my desk?
Reid: Nevermind, Morgan just threw it across the bullpen.
Emily: IT HIT SOME LADY IM GONNA PISS MY PANTS DEREK WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭
Y/n: IT FLEW AND THEN BOUNCED OFF HER HEAD I AM ROLLING 💀💀💀 NAH FOUL PLAY
Hotch: ..not funny..
Emily: FUCK YOU WE CAN SEE YOU LAUGHING SILLY OLD MAN😭✋🏻
Y/n: SILLY OLD MAN EM IM GONNA PISS MYSELF UR TOO FUNNY 😭💀
Reid: Why is she yelling at me? Why is water coming out of my eyes?
Hotch: EMILY YOU CANT HIT PEOPLE OH MY GOD???
Derek: NAH THE LADY DESERVED IT SHE YELLED AT PRETTY BOY WHEN IT WAS MY FAULT 🤨🤨 NO ONE YELLS AT PRETTY BOY
Y/n: its rossis meat we should blame him tbh
Emily: ^ ROSSI UR MEAT GOT US IN TROUBLE
Y/n: dont.. don't say it like that oh my god
Derek: She isn't wrong tbh go bestie go 🕺🏾🕺🏾 hit that lady so hard she forgot her name
Emily: ^ as I should 💋💋
Derek: period
Rossi: Hey whered my steak go?
JJ: 💀💀
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
