Maximus of Mine

Page 17 I Remember That Smell

I sat on the stairs leading up the science lab. Since it was late in the evening, the labs were closed and that segment of the university building was undisturbed. With the window open to let the breeze sieve through the golden light, I sat in the dark, with the sunlight lighting up the pages on my book, almost like a bright spotlight in an empty stadium. 

Everything was still, and calm and warm. As this season was at its peak, I was beginning to fall in love with it, with all its discomfort. I did not look forward to winters at all. But as I sat there, I felt sad because I knew that moment was short-lived. Soon, the sun would set and I'd be forced to leave. Forced to go back to the dingy apartment again.

I closed the book and looked up at Dylan, who was blocking the light as he stood between the sunlight and the window, like an eclipse, "What are you doing?" I asked him.
"I know you really love poetry," He pointed at the book in my hands, looking down at T.S Eliot's Wasteland. I looked at Dylan, "Is that a problem?"

"It is not. In fact, I have written some apocalyptic love poetry for you,"
I took that small speak of paper from him and kept it between the pages of my book, "Are you not going to read it?"
"I'm not going to read it,"

He looked at me as I walked down the stairs, he looked at me as I walked towards the university gate. Suddenly he ran ahead of me, and stood before me, before the little fountain green casting a dark shadow over his face, "Have I wronged you?" He asked me.
"Why would you ask that?" I looked at his dark face, the sky seemed to fall from grace behind him as it went from golden to a ghostly blue.

"Would you notice if I disappear?" He asked me, "Do I matter to you, Daffine? Answer me, should I have hope?"
"You shouldn't. I told you, I don't share the same feelings as you. And that wouldn't change. You said you wanted to be friends. Then, why are you so desperate to change it?"

"Because you showed me a different side of you. A hope that you'd like me too. And I know you do,"
"Don't go deciding my feelings for me. I was nice to you because I did like you, as a friend,"
"Is it wrong to want more? Is it wrong for me to want you?

"YES! IT IS!"
"But I love you!" He screamed, "And I know you don't. And I don't know which one hurts more. Look at how well we connect,"
"We don't connect at all, Dylan. Can you please remove those rose-red glasses and see the reality? Get a hang of it. You're beginning to lose yourself over a rejection, it's pathetic. I can't help what I love or don't love. You're forcing me to love you and that is repulsive. Are you trying to control me by setting a monopoly over my desires. I'm not obliged to like you. I've tried to be kind to you. But your stubbornness to win me over like a fallen fortress, it won't get you anywhere...With any woman. You're making me hate you even more than I already do,"

-To be continued