What Nobody Knew

Part 40

We drove to the venue in complete silence.

I was starting to feel more nervous about the gala the further we drove away from the hotel. I Googled the event and apparently, it's a pretty big deal. Each year everyone in the top circles attended and they raise an obscene amount of money that goes straight into cancer research.

Of course, Catherine always comes out looking like a saint after each of these shindigs. The media ends up writing more about what a good Samaritan she is as opposed to focusing on what the event is about and making people aware of this amazing cause that the money is going to. Of course, she plays the part excellently, always trying to point the focus back to the "cause that's so near and dear to her heart". Personally, I think it's all just a load crap for the lack of a better word.

I couldn't stand the woman. After meeting her I was convinced that even something like today's event was all just a ploy to put herself and her family in a better light. All of this was just business to her, she didn't give a damn about these people and so many people don't see this part of her. Sure, there was some bad press circulating about her, but this is easily forgotten by the public when it's swept under the rug of her saintly good deeds. She certainly was good, I'd give her that much.

It seems somewhat unfair to judge her on the short encounter that we had, but there was something in the way that she carried herself that just felt off. I had a bad feeling about her and usually, my instincts weren't wrong about these types of things.

"We have to step out now," William said, looking at me for the first time since we left the hotel.

He had been staring out of the window seeming deep in thought for the entire trip.

The unmistakable noise of the media was rising outside of the limo. It seemed louder than last time and it felt as if even the flashing of the cameras were able to penetrate through the tinted windows of the car.

I nodded to William that I was ready to get out, and the door was opened shortly after, with him stepping out first. His hand was outstretched within seconds to help me out.

The blinding lights soon followed.

How many of these events did one have to attend to get used to all of this?

Honestly, I didn't think I was ever going to get used to the disorientation caused by the flashing cameras, the shouting from all directions, the probing questions. It was overwhelming and there was nothing more that I wanted to do than to slide right back into the limo and go curl up under the duvet at the hotel. But the limo had already driven away along with all my hopes to escape. There was nowhere else to go than forward, right past all of the reporters who wanted desperately to get a shot and if they're lucky, a quote from William Knight.

As if sensing what I needed him to do at that very moment, William placed his hand on my hip and pulled me flush into him. My hands landed on his chest as I braced myself for the impact of our bodies colliding. William secured me in place by his side and the heat that radiated from his body quickly did wonders to my rising anxiety. I was grateful and allowed the intimacy for the moment. Being near him made me feel calm, safe even. I knew he was in control no matter what the situation was and I, therefore, for the moment being at least, had no problem with him taking control and leading us through it. There was enough time later for kicking myself for my damsel in distress moment, but now I couldn't focus on that as well.

His eyes were searching my face to see whether I was alright and honestly, had our situation been any different, I would've melted in his arms right there and then.

"Elizabeth, you don't need to answer anything okay? Just keep looking at me and follow my lead." He said, giving my hip a reassuring squeeze, sending tingles through my body.

I nodded to let him know that I understood what he meant.

He loosened his grip slightly to allow us to walk a bit further down the carpet while still keeping his hand on my lower back. I wasn't looking directly at the cameras as I knew this would freak me out all over again. We stood still at a few designated spots and I did as William had instructed, I kept my eyes focused on him the entire time. And each time as we came to a standstill, he focused his gaze on me as well, reassuring me that everything was alright and it would be over soon. He didn't say any of this through words though, it was all communicated through his eyes that warmed when they met mine. I knew he was only looking at me like that to keep me calm through the crowd. This in no way stopped my heart from skipping a beat every time our eyes connected.

From the outside, we probably looked like a couple who was lovingly staring into each other's eyes. Which was the furthest thing from what was happening.

Soon enough he leads me through the final stretch and into the venue.

My heart was racing as we went through the glass doors and he tucked me closer to him once more.

Once we were inside and the noise from the outside world was no longer evident, my breathing came out ragged and my heart was hammering erratically inside my chest. It felt like the room was closing in on me, pressing down on my chest.

I hated the scene, the crowds, the noise. Had it not been for this job and my current position as William's assistant, I would probably never have learned about my aversion to this kind of attention. But now that I knew, I never wanted to experience this feeling again, being trapped, eyes following my every move as if I was a prey being followed by a hungry predator, one misstep leading to me being snatched up in seconds. None of this made sense to me, I have never experienced social anxiety before, why would a few cameras and questions from strangers cause me to react like this?

"Hey, it's okay." William cooed soothingly, rubbing my back.

I had not until that moment realized that he had pressed me up against him in an attempt to calm me down. He had taken us down a hall, away from the main attractions and incoming guests. 

He was tracing my spine with the palm of his hand, allowing his touch to soothe my ragged breathing and racing heart. Which it did. He had this unexplainable ability to calm me down, that no one has been able to do before. Come to think of it, I have never broken down in front of anyone except for Julie like this before. And yet, here I was, allowing him to see me with my guard let down, weaknesses exposed, not for the first, but for the second time. 

I reached my arms behind his back and clung to him, not able to turn away from his comfort. He smelled amazing and felt even better with his strong form holding me as if he wouldn't let any harm come close to me.

He continued rubbing my back until my shoulders visibly relaxed and pulled back slowly as if he didn't want to scare me away. His eyes were soft and there was a concerned crease between his eyebrows. He cupped my face with his hands softly rubbing away the tears that had trickled down my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. His actions were gentle and caring.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting completely ridiculous." I looked down, my voice coming out hoarse.

I had to get a grip, there was no reason for me to be losing my cool like this 

"Hey, look at me." He said softly, still cupping my face.

This time I didn't fight him and my eyes met him again.

"You're not being ridiculous. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by all of this." He said, gently running his thumbs over my cheek. 

He slowly moved closer to me until his lips came into contact with my forehead and he placed a gentle, feathery kiss there. His lips were soft, just like his words. I wanted to stay here in this moment, in his embrace with him looking at me like that just for a little while longer.

He opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped himself.

The music from the main room travelled through the hall and reality set in again.