a pure monstrosity (attack on Titan X male reader)

scum

Y/n and Frieda exited the carriage the morning sun hitting their faces as their eyes adjusted to the harsh light. A yawn was heard as the man stretched his black hair tied behind his head as his pale skin almost seemed to shine in the light.

"What a carriage ride" he finished his yawn, throwing his coat over his shoulder as he placed his fedora on his head, the light grey hat had a black ribbon around it that kept a nice red spider Lilly in place. Frieda nodded, rubbing her eyes  lightly to let out the tiredness.

The driver smiled at the two, the relatively small man approaching them with a slight limp to his step "did you two enjoy yourselves? I apologize for the rough ride the wheels are in desperate need of repair" Frieda didn't really know how to answer her lack of street knowledge and social cues not really helping her situation

"No no it was fine" it took all of Y/n's will power not to face palm and roll his eyes at the queen's rather embarrassing attempt to communicate, she raised her hands up "I rather enjoyed myself actually"

"You bet she did.." he mumbled under his breath but Frieda's next action reminded him of a lesson he'd learnt long ago, angry women are scary. Frieda's harsh glare was more than enough motive he needed to shut up.

He leaned forward passing the driver a pouch of coins, clearly one of the two knew what the driver was trying to say "why don't you get that wheel fixed hmm?"  Y/n insinuated and as quick as he came, the driver was back on his carriage and driving away.

He turned to the younger black haired woman a sly smile on his face and a pout on her's "am I wrong?" He asked her "or would you not like any of my massages from now on"

Her face turned to a smile a she let out a small laugh "you are so lucky I love you" his arms wrapped around her waist as her looked into her eyes "I know I am, we haven't been able to enjoy ourselves in a long time so...how about after this we go somewhere?"

"You had a place in mind?" She looked at him with a questioning look "well since you're always so stressed from your royal duties I thought I'd let you pick" this time it was Frieda's turn to roll her eyes as she giggled once again though he wasn't exactly wrong since the two became lovers they rarely had time together appart from the nights when Frieda would sneak into his room.

"You couldn't think of anywhere could you?" She saw through his little white lie so easily ever since the incident a few months ago she'd grown very attached to him and had learned the in's and out's of his personality.

"Well if your walking boner of a father didn't hate my guts so much we could actually be open about us" now that was the understatement of the decade to say rod hated him was putting it very lightly rod hated every atom of Y/n's being and then some.

Freida's soft smile turned into a more devilish grin as she grew a mischievous look about her "I'd love to see his reaction if he found out his mortal enemy and his daughter were having sex under his roof"

Y/n faked shock as he placed his hand on his heart, looking overly taken back "my queen! Such vulgar language coming from your mouth!" His sarcastic attempts at humour merited a dry chuckle from Frieda "ha ha very funny" her own sarcastic tone was as dry as his as the two lovers let go of eachother.

Though the whole conversation was an attempt by Frieda to calm his anxieties about returning to the scouts for the first time in months, he's been filled in on the entire report a few days after joining the queen and her family and on the same day she had walked in on a very distraught and nervous Y/n. It was nice, to have somebody like her to talk to about his worries. Hell it was one of the main reason the two had gotten so close.

Letting out a groan Y/n held out his hand for the young woman "time to face the music" it was obvious that he wasn't comfortable with coming back to the scout regiments headquarters but he needed that box Freida happily placed her hand in his her smile not fading "relax you have me here"

In a window not far from where the two lovers stood a certain black haired midget watch on his eyes narrowing at the bastard.

As the two entered the headquarters they were approached by one Erwin Smith, the tall blonds bushy eyebrows and calculative gaze being a dead give away.

"Section commander Erwin Smith, my partner has told me a lot about you" Freida was the first to step forward, holding her hand out for the man to which he accepted and shook hands.

"All good things I hope" Erwin smiled with a friendly tone in his voice it was impossible to tell whatever this man was thinking "though I was recently promoted to commander of the survey corps" he corrected finishing the hand shake.

"I see Levi hasn't killed you yet" Y/n walked forward shaking Erwin's hand the blondes face visibly changing to one of discomfort at the mention of the small man "I would advise you to stay away from him he hasn't exactly been in the best of moods at the mention of your name"

"That's understandable" Y/n nodded his head slowly, Freida tightening her grip on his hand to comfort him "you'll be fine" she whispered to him thier eyes meeting again "yeah...I know" he readjusted his collar his gaze turning back to Erwin.

"I just came to pick something up and we'll be on our way" Erwin stood tall and proud like he always did "would it happen to be that box and 'family heirloom?'" Erwin guessed correctly though it's not like Y/n brung much when he was forced to join the scouts.

Y/n let out a dry chuckle as he began to lead Frieda to where he and his friends once slept "you're one calculated son of a bitch Erwin" the thirteenth commander of the survey corps could only smile at Y/n's new found laid back attitude.

The couple walked towards a large wooden structure, the brown building looking more like a shed than a place somebody would live. The door opened freely with a squeal and a whine as he let go of her hand their skin grazing past eachothers as they walked into his old bedroom.

Levi's bed being tidy and clean while Furlan's was the same as the day they had left, turning his head to the right he saw his own single bed in the corner of the small room still untouched.

He slowly walked towards it memories of the people he considered family flooding his mind as he placed his hand on his bed sheets noticing a lock of red hair mix with black hair.

Frieda watched on her face holding a somewhat worried look as, for as long as she had known him, he'd never talked about the day (in his mind) left his family for dead. Her heart broke as through the silence a single tear fell to the floor as the sniffing of crying entered her ears and her lover turned to her his face was riddled with a concoction of guilt and sadness as a flood of tears ran down his face

"I lead them to their deaths" he cried out "I'm the reason I lost my family" he broke down in front of her, falling to his knees as the reality of what he'd done came crashing down onto him "I left them for dead" his hands and body shook as he cried onto the bed sheets "I'll never forget the face of those titans! And I'll never forget the face of pain those two had to go through because of me!" He yelled into the bed sheets, his hand gripping the bed sheets as he let out a laugh through the pain "and the worst of it all?! I never got to tell any of them I loved them! They were a family to me and I was a cold hearted piece of shit to them!" He'd truly hated the person he'd become during his time on the godforsaken island as much as he'd tell himself it was for the mission as much as he'd think of the time when he'd return to Pieck to the place he thought he belonged he couldn't help but get attached to the people around him and he took it all for granted he started to enjoy himself so much that his objective slipped his mind.

His chuckle ceased as it only brought more pain though no more tears would fall leaving only a depressed shell of a man "I really am the scum of the earth..." he mumbled to himself his voice breaking as he lost the will to carry on

Freida croutched down behind him wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him close "Y/n.... You aren't a bad person" she tried to soothe him as she rested her chin on his shoulder "you're just a victim of circumstance"

"I had the power and influence to change all of it but I went on with what I was told to do I was their weapon a I didn't think about it twice I don't regret killing those men, women and children Frieda" he raised his head, the eyes of a broken man meeting her own "in fact I enjoy it and when they told me I was to being paradis to it's knees by any means necessary I was happy that I was free to do as I please, I could burn these lands to the ground and slaughter every soul that lives in these walls and I wouldn't look back because I'm a monster Frieda I'm a pure monstrosity"