Lilac's Lies

47

My mouth was frozen shut.

"Lilly, is this the truth?" Clara asked me, her voice one level away from a shriek.

"Wait, Rome, he hits her? Like he physically hits her?" Samuel asked, just one second after Clara spoke.

Roman's eyes were glued to mine, and I wasn't sure what he was trying to say with them. He looked like he realized he had just made a serious decision, telling Clara and Samuel the whole story, but he didn't necessarily look like he had made a mistake.

"No, no... fuck, no. I need to go right now, I need to go kill him," Clara said, starting to walk to the door.

"You knew this and he's still walking?" Samuel asked Roman, holding out a hand to stop Clara from leaving.

"I don't know the specifics. She didn't tell me, I just put two and two together," Roman explained, breaking eye contact with me and shaking his head.

"Lilly," Clara rushed towards me, "are you okay? When did this happen? Was it this weekend when he was mad at you?"

I lowered my head, covering it with my hands. This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want these questions, I didn't want the look in Clara's eyes that I knew she would wear. If I had to tell her, I had to relive it, I had to make it real. If I didn't say anything, if it was only my secret, it's like it never happened.

Isn't it?

"I think it's been happening for longer than that," Roman let out, coming back to the bed I was still laying in.

I looked up when I felt him sit on then bed, and the anger took over. I raised both my hands, pushing against his chest as hard as I could. I barely noticed the stabbing pain that shot through the wounds on my hands, the burning sensation that ripped through them.

"You said I could trust you!" I spat at him. How could he?

"Lilac..." Roman started, but Clara interrupted him.

"Lilly, you can't be mad at him. He was right to tell us. You can' be around him, especially not when he realizes you know that he doesn't have anything on you," Clara said, making me even angrier.

"You're taking his side?" I gasped at her.

"Yes, babe, I am," Clara grabbed my hands, holding me around the wrist. "You could have told me. Oh my god, all the times I left you alone with him. He's a monster."

I looked back to Roman, who had stood up. Even though my push didn't have enough force to actually move him, I guess he got the hint.

"Rome, why are we standing here? Let's do what we were supposed to do weeks ago, and go put an end to these guys. They fucking deserve it! He put his hands on your girl!" Samuel was speaking only to Roman, acting as if Clara and I were no longer here. "On your girl, Rome. You can't let that go."

My breath hitched at the use of his words. Your girl, I wasn't Roman's girl... was I?

Roman sighed, he turned back to me, that same fire in his eyes that I've learned to know from him. Though, it wasn't like the fire in Jesse's eyes. If the fire in Jesse's eyes made me scared to be burned, the fire in Roman's eyes was the opposite. It was like seeing a fire in the middle of winter, it made me want to stick my hands close to it, and steal the warmth for myself.

He didn't speak for a beat, but I could see the way his jaw was tensing.

He turned back to Samuel, "you don't think that's what I want? You don't think I've been dying to beat him ever since I found out? You don't think my fist is aching for the feel of his chin? Of course I want to. She doesn't want me to, for whatever reason. I can't do it unless she wants me to. I've done enough messing up her life already."