five - amends

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an: no, no laurmani (well, here, dun dun dunnnn) but here's lauren being a cuddly puppy and some caminah because i miss them. oh yeah, also a panic attack. enjoy!

It doesn't matter what she's thinking, all day and every day, Lauren seems to hear an anxious buzzing in the back of her head. Sometimes it forms words - like you're not good enough or wow isn't your hair dumb?- and other times it's just the annoying buzzing constantly leaving her on some kind of edge.

She hates it.

At least last night's show was good. They did what Dinah suggested - much to the dismay of their manager - and the crowd loved it. They took Camila's suggestion of a ship war and decided to have Lauren and Dinah vs Camila and Normani (Ally offered to moderate, Lauren thinks she's aware of how she's not in everyone's good graces) - Camila and Normani won, big whoop - and everyone was so much more excited than usual and for a while, everything was good.

(Then she went back to singing about sex and men and it was less good, but she'll take what she can get.)

Either way, Lauren's been in her bunk all morning while they're on their way to the next venue, which they're supposed to arrive at in less than an hour. She knows Dinah and Camila are up (they're the exact opposite of quiet) and she and Normani have been sending random Instagram posts back and forth for the past two hours. It's not the way things used to be, but they're on the right track.

She finally decides to leave her bunk, craving anything but the scratchy curtain that closes everything off and the wooden walls. She pulls on socks (she hates the flooring in the bus) and goes to the back, unsurprised when she sees Dinah and Camila.

"Well well well, look who decided to wake up," Dinah teases, "How'd you sleep, Lo?"

"Um, I slept," Lauren shrugs, noticing how Camila's just kind of... watching her... from afar, not saying anything and making Lauren all the more anxious.

"Better than not sleeping," Dinah responds, and Lauren nods awkwardly, playing with her hands and not knowing what to do with Camila watching her.

"Yeah," she agrees absentmindedly, "Do you know what city we're in? I haven't checked."

"No clue," Dinah looks over at Camial, "Do you know anything?"

Camila looks as if she got snapped out of something and she blinks, "Sorry, what?"

"Do you," Dinah draws out, kicking the other girl's leg lightly, "know where we are?"

"Phoenix, Arizona," Camila says, leaning back on the couch and resting her phone on her stomach, "and then tomorrow, we're at the Orange County Fair."

"How the hell did I forget that?" Dinah groans, but then gestures at Camila, "There's your answer, Lo."

"Thanks, Camila," Lauren smiles politely, still not sure of her boundaries with Camila. She's been allowing Camila to set the pace and trying not to overstep, but Camila's a pretty girl and Lauren's learned that pretty girls are confusing.

"You're welcome," Camila smiles back, so quickly that Lauren can't read it, and then switches topics, "I'm gonna lose like ten pounds tonight just from sweat."

"Oh yeah, me too," Dinah agrees and Lauren nods along.

"We did Phoenix last year and it was so hot," Camila whines, "What if one of us just like, pass out on stage, like from dehydration or something?"

"I mean, I want to make headlines, but not like that," Lauren responds, smiling to herself when Camila agrees with her.

"I swear, we do way too much cool shit for it to be overshadowed by one of us passing out on stage," Camila adds on.

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